FILK: The Muckraker

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 177489

The Muckraker (DH, Chap. 2)

To the tune of The Arbiter (aka Opening Ceremony)  from the musical 
Chess by Benny Anderson, Bjorn Ulvaeus & Tim Rice

YouTube vid – 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fyg0h6tk-MM 

THE SCENE: RITA SKEETER hawks her latest literary achievement

SKEETER:
It's the duty of biography 
To relate all the facts
In researching Albus Dumble
This is what I find
Which I grind – with an axe

Even though he was a Headmaster
There's so much mystery
In a mere 900 pages
I bring truth to light
As I fight secrecy

This is a case
For tabloids
His reputation
Will be destroyed
Yes I'm the Muckraker, I show the worst

CHORUS OF DEVOTED READERS:
If it's gossip you like to sip, quench your thirst.

SKEETER:
I got my Quill
Won't hear "no"
And Batty Bagshot
Is in the know
Yes I'm the Muckraker, I'll never bore

SKEETER + CHORUS:
I'll/She'll dumbfound ev'ry fan of Al Dumbledore 

SKEETER:
If you're wondering what made him click,
Let it be understood:
Ariana, broken noses,
Stricken Aber brawled,
Grindelwald – Greater Good

Dumble fell during the current war
Potter stood at his side
Now perhaps this retribution came from too much cash
(Maybe slash) as Al died.

This is a case
For tabloids
His reputation
Will be destroyed
Yes I'm the Muckraker, I show the worst

CHORUS:
She's the witch who will be the next Randolph Hearst

SKEETER:
I got my Quill
Won't hear "no"
And Batty Bagshot
Is in the know
Oh I'm the Muckracker, despite the war

SKEETER+ CHORUS:
I'll/She'll dumbfound ev'ry fan of Al Dumbledore 

SKEETER:
Yes, I'm the Muckraker, I never bore

SKEETER + CHORUS:
I'll/She'll dumbfound ev'ry fan of Al Dumbledore 

SKEETER:
This is a case for tabloids
.
I've got my quill – won't hear "no"!

If you're not dimmer than Dodgy is
You will listen to me
If you're not the kind of reader who can handle lies,
Scandalized  
You will be.

They all thought he was white as his beard
Till they read my critique
In the Daily Prophet you have no doubt seen my hook, 
Wrote my book 
In four weeks 

This is a case
For tabloids
His reputation
Will be destroyed
Yes I'm the Muckraker, I show the worst

CHORUS:
She's the witch who will be the next Randolph Hearst

SKEETER:
I got my Quill
Won't hear "no"
And Batty Bagshot
Is in the know
Oh I'm the Muckracker you can't ignore

SKEETER+ CHORUS:
Quite dumbstruck will each fan be of Dumbledore 

SKEETER:
Oh I'm the Muckracker you all adore

SKEETER+ CHORUS:
I'll/She'll dumbfound ev'ry fan of Al Dumbledore 

   - 	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm