manipulation

[Catlady (Rita Prince Winston)]

No: HPFGUIDX 185161

Pippin wrote in
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/185132>:

<< People do seem to be using the word manipulation to mean any kind
of indirect or emotional persuasion, whereas I believe it applies only
when the persuader is being deceptive about his goal.

For example, if I walk into a car dealership, I fully expect that the
salesmen will do all sorts of subtle things to make me feel good about
buying a car, and those things may have more to do with my decision
than any reasoned argument...but that's not manipulation in my book,
because they're not deceiving me about their motives. >>

To me, it doesn't stop being manipulation just because you know that
this person is going to try to manipulate you. That the salesman uses
'subtle' techniques of persuasion that he intends that the customer
won't notice seems to me that the salesman is attempting to manipulate
the customer.   

However, my late mother often used to say that 'manipulate' is just a
Latin word for 'handle', and that it's considered a good thing to be
'good at handling people', so why is being 'manipulative' regarded as
so bad?

[Checking the facts here: 'handle' really does come from 'hand', but
The Online Etymology Dictionary says for 'manipulation': "c.1730, "a
method of digging ore," from Fr. manipulation, from manipule "handful"
(a pharmacists' measure), from L. manipulus "handful, sheaf," from
manus "hand" (see manual) + root of plere "to fill" (see plenary).
Sense of "skillful handling of objects" is first recorded 1826;
extended 1828 to "handling of persons" as well as objects.
Manipulative is from 1836; manipulate is from 1831."]