Lupin's behavior (Was: CHAPDISC: DH11, The Bribe)

[Carol]

No: HPFGUIDX 180565

Carol earlier:
> > This confrontation was one of my favorite moments in DH,
especially when Harry accuses Lupin of feeling like a daredevil and
imitating Sirius. The implication seems to be that Lupin is tempting
death, as Sirius did not only by going to the Mom but by fighting
Bellatrix on the dais of the Veil. Lupin, he's suggesting, wants to
die spectularly, too, with the difference being that this suicide by
recklessness would in his case be supremely irresponsible and 
cowardly because it would be a way of freeing himself of the burden of
caring for his wife and child while looking like a brave soldier dying
for the cause of the WW. JKR, I think, is speaking through Harry in
calling Lupin a coward, and Lupin, though he storms out, apparently
comes to share this view, as indicated by his behavior in later
chapters. Yes, Lupin is an adult and was his teacher, but Lupin is
wrong in this instance, and Harry is right to tell him so, IMO. Lupin
chose to marry Tonks and to father a child with her; now he has to 
pay the consequences, one of which is to think of others before he 
thinks of himself. I think that JKR is saying that Marauder-style
recklessness was bad enough when it endangered the people of
Hogsmeade; in this instance, it would endanger Lupin's own family by
depriving them of his protection. True bravery isn't rushing
heedlessly into danger; it's facing the consequences of your own
actions without running away.
> 
a_svirn replied:
> Well, I can understand marrying-and-facing-consequences bit, but the
suicide theory is a pure conjecture, I think. There was nothing in 
the chapter to suggest that Lupin actively sought death. No had 
Sirius, really. And as for leaving his family without protection, it
simply wasn't the case. Lupin stated the obvious when he said that
they would be much safer without him. Just like they were safer
without Ted Tonks. <snip>
> 
Carol again:

This post is a revised version of my offlist response to a-svirn (who
still doesn't agree with me <g>).

The "suicide" idea was my interpretation of Harry's reaction. He said
that Lupin was trying to be a bit of a daredevil and step into
Sirius's shoes. Both Harry and Lupin know how that worked out;
daredevil Sirius ended up dead, partly as the result of the same
recklessness that had endangered the people of Hogsmeade when they
were teenagers and led to Sirius's twelve-year imprisonment for a
crime he didn't commit. Lupin, of course, was also reckless as a
Marauder, but recklessness isn't a key component of his personality,
which is generally rather cautious and secretive. (His concealment of
key information from DD in PoA for selfish reasons, which was cowardly
rather than reckless, and his rushing out without his potion, though
certainly reckless in retrospect, was uncharacteristic.) I'm not
denying that Lupin sometimes shows courage (fighting in the Battle of
Hogwarts so his baby son can live in a better world being the best
example), but offering to protect HRH when his presence would add to
their danger (not only is he being hunted as an undesirable, but he
turns into a werewolf once a month) is not going to help them.

You state that Lupin would place his wife and unborn child in the same
danger as Ted Tonks would have done by remaining with them, but I
don't think so. Yes, he's a hunted man, but they can be hidden by the
Order (as happens later--and should have happened with Ted Tonks as
well, IMO), and, yes, he turns into a werewolf once a month, but Tonks
is an Auror, which requires a NEWT in Potions. If anyone besides Snape
could learn to brew Wolfsbane Potion, she could--and must have done
so, considering that she survived to give birth to her child, and the
baby himself seems to have lived at least a month with his father (the
timeframe of those last few chapters being a bit fuzzy).

To return to the scene at 12 GP, I think that Harry sees Lupin as
looking for a means of escape from his family responsibilities,
whether it's death protecting the Chosen One (a la Sirius) or merely
going on an adventure with HRH (again, a desire more characteristic of
Sirius, who seemed to view Harry as a surrogate James, than of the
more reserved Remus, whose failures to act are more conspicuous than
his actions, IMO. At any rate, his wish to abandon his wife and son to
accompany HRH (and find out what they're up to) is very different from
his choice to fight in the battle of Hogwarts to make a better world
for his son (whom he isn't abandoning in that instance; he's leaving
him in the good care of his mother-in-law and, he thinks, of his
wife). *That's* not a suicide wish; that's a man defending what he
believes in (Lupin at his best, and we don't even get to see him!).
But following HRH to do he doesn't know what rather than staying home
with the wife who loves and needs him (he can't, unfortunately, go out
and earn a living, which is one cause of his distress or depression or
whatever it is, but he can provide her emotional support at a
stressful time in her life) is just, as Harry points out,
irresponsible and reckless.  "Parents shouldn't leave their kids
unless--unless they've got to," says Harry. 

In the end, Lupin does have to leave his newborn son to protect and
preserve the world his son will live in and help to destroy a terrible
enemy. But at 12 GP, he *doesn't* have to leave his unborn child.
There is not yet a battle to join, and if he dies because he's chosen
to "protect" Harry, he will have left that child a half-orphan for no
good reason. He's afraid that the child will be like him and ignores
the fact that such a child would need a loving father even more than a
normal child.
 
Carol, snipping the part about Ted Tonks, which I answered offlist