[HPforGrownups] Re: lifelong partners only? was Working mothers

[Edna Nathan]

No: HPFGUIDX 181984

(snip)
> Betsy Hp:
(snip)
> The trend *I* don't like in the series is the
> implicit idea that 
> sexual attraction (either being or having) is only
> okay with an eye 
> towards future breeding.  That a girl can't crush on
> a boy simply 
> because he's attractive, she's got to be thinking
> he's future husband 
> material.

Edna:
I remember in my youth that when girls crushed on a
boy they usually were thinking of marrying him, even
using their last names in secret. When boys crushed on
a girl, they just knew they wanted to be with them,
not necessarily marry them. 19 years later in the
epilogue,  Neville is still single and living happily
at Hogwarts as the Herbology teacher. He became a
hottie in DH, but has not yet found his soul mate.

Betsy Hp: 
> Couples without children are futureless and
> generally treated as 
> having something wrong with them.  Single people are
> okay, but only 
> if they take a vow of chastity.  McGonagall is a
> classicly sexless 
> old-maid type.  Trewlawny is the pathetic type of
> old-maid: 
> interested in sex, but unable to land a man.

Edna:
IMO, Couples without children either can't have any,
or are perfectly happy without them. It's their
married friends with children who would like to push
them into joining them in parenthood. We don't know
much about McGonagall's life, she may have had someone
once or twice in her life. Trelawny desperately needs
someone in her life, but staying at Hogwarts and
getting drunk isn't going to get her a man. She needs
to get a makeover and get herself into AA, she might
meet someone there.
> 
Betsy HP:
> Lavender is a bad girl in her dating of Ron without
> wanting to marry 
> him (making out rather than picking out china) and
> ends up ravaged by 
> a werewolf (an old sign of rampant sexuality). 
> Ginny is a good girl 
> with her sexual aggression and attractiveness
> because she's got her 
> cap set for a husband (Harry).

Edna:
At age 15 and 16, kids are discovering their sexuality
and snogging is a big deal. I think Lavender wanted a
snogging partner and zeroed in on Ron and then became
obsessive with him. There are some girls who fall in
love for the sake of being in love. Ginny is a girl
who knows what she wants and is forced to be patient.
She waited 4 years to get Harry.

Betsy HP:
> Dumbledore, being gay and therefore not a breeder,
> is a bad boy when 
> he's crushing on a boy, but okay when he shuts
> himself up in a school 
> with the implied vow of chastity that goes along
> with it.  (Though, I 
> think you can read a certain amount of... tragedy,
> maybe? in his not 
> having a wife and child and subsequent loneliness.)

Edna:
I don't think JKR views a persons sexuality as being
bad or good, people can't help what they feel inside.
She views intolerance as bad and tolerance as good.
Death Eaters are bad because they do not tolerate
anyone who is different than they are. People who are
accepting of other people no matter how different they
may be are good. I think Dumbledore lived a loveless
life because he did not trust himself. The first and
last time he fell in love Arianna died. He was so
blinded by love that he did not see it coming. His
brother blames him and he must blame himself for it
too. The wizarding world should be extremely greatful
that Dumbledore devoted his life to them.
 
Betsy Hp:
> I think JKR gets Tonks knocked up so quickly after
> her marrage to 
> Lupin to show us that yes, Tonks is a good girl. 
> She's sexual for 
> the right reasons.

Edna:
I think Tonk's got pregnant right away simply because
Remus was not a young man.

Betsy Hp:
 I find it hilarious that JKR
> "punishes" Pansy 
> by not showing her married with children in the
> epilogue.  (snip)

Edna:
I don't think Pansy was an important enough character
to put in the eplogue. We know that Draco had a wife,
but we don't know who she is. Luna, Seamus, dean and
the Patil sisters were also left out of the epilogue.
They probably didn't have children. Remember that it
takes place on platform 9 3/4. Only wizards with
children going to hogwarts were there.