Working mothers, was Did the Slytherins come back

[Carol]

No: HPFGUIDX 182053

Betsy Hp wrote:
> <snip> Okay.  I'm looking at the text in a semi-critical and
analytical  manner <snip> and in doing so I've observed that any
character who doesn't view sex as a means of breeding, any girl who
doesn't date a boy with an eye towards marrying him, has their view
shown to be quite wrong.  
> In a moral sense. <snip>

Carol responds:

What about Ginny, who calls Ron a hypocrite for his double standard
(it's okay for him to snog Lavender publicly but not for Ginny to snog
Dean)? Surely, we're supposed to side with Ginny in this respect?

I don't think that Ginny is condemned for, in essence, playing the
field (Michael Corner, Dean, and possibly someone else that I'm
forgetting) before settling for her true love, Harry. (I don't care
for Ginny, so I'm not arguing from emotions here but from what I see
on the page.)

Yes, Hogwarts students tend to marry their Hogwarts sweethearts (they
seem to have limited opportunities for finding marriage partners
anywhere else--exactly how a few of them end up with Muggles is still
hard for me to fathom). However, that limitation applies to boys as
well as girls.

I don't think most readers would agree with Ron's old-fashioned double
standard (and BTW, he's not doing anything with Lavender beyond
snogging her, any more than Harry does with Cho and, later, Ginny.
They can't enter the girls' dormitory and they never enter the boys'
dormitory with any girl except Hermione, who never snogs anyong there
(regardless of what Lavender might think that Ron and Hermione were
doing). Hermione laughs at Ron for using Mrs. Weasley's old-fashioned
term, "scarlet woman." And we're led to believe that she did kiss
Viktor Kru, for which neither Ginny nor Harry condemns her. (Ron is
only jealous and doesn't dare state his reasons for snubbing Hermione
out loud. Nor does he, once he gets his head together after recovering
from the poisoning, ever bring it up again.)

Lavender doesn't strike me as a "bad" girl, only a very silly one, who
considers herself Ron's girlfriend, worries about his "feelings" and
whether he considers their relationship "serious." She is, IMO, not
punished for publicly snogging Ron. Greyback doesn't succeed in
injuring her (she's "feebly stirring" after being thrown from the
balcony when he tries to attack her, but he's hit first by Hermione's
spell and then by Trelawney's crystal ball before he can bite her).
Lavender is not mentioned as one of the dead on the tables in the
Great Hall, so I think we can conclude that she survived.

We do not see any "slutty" girls (maybe Bellatrix's apparent lust for
Voldemort comes close, but as he seems to be asexual, I'm sure that
it's not consummated.) Morfin uses the term to refer to his sister,
who loves a Muggle, but she marries with him and Tom is not born until
a year after their marriage. (I won't get into the ethics of poor
abused Merope tricking the handsome Tom into marrying her.) the love
potions that Romilda Vane and other girls try to use on boys merely
cause the boys (judging by Ron) to become infatuated with them; their
intention is to get a date for Slughorn's party, not to have a
one-night stand. We just don't see that sort of behavior in the books,
 however unrealistic that may seem by RL standards.

We don't know that Pansy (whose behavior with Draco isn't all that
different from Ginny's with Harry near the end of HBP before DD's
death) isn't a "good girl" who wants to marry Draco. I rather suspect
that that's her goal (and I see nothing wrong with wanting to marry
the boy you're dating when you're old enough, as opposed to merely
going out with them to have a date for social events or get in some
snogging or whatever other reason girls and boys date in their
mid-teens). The difference between Pansy and Ginny in this respect is
that the boy Ginny loves loves her in return. (Pansy could have
married Theo or Blaise or Gregory Goyle or even someone from another
House for all we know. It's safe to say that she didn't marry Vincent
Crabbe, but that's as much as we can safely say.)

Anyway, no one condemns Cho for kissing Harry, only for continuing to
be friends with Marietta. (Admittedly, Ginny resents Cho's continuing
interest in Harry in DH, but I see no difference between Ginny's
jealousy regarding Harry and his regarding her. All of the "good" kids
seem to suffer from that particular affliction, particularly Ron but
also Hermione with her bird attack.)

JKR said somewhere that she didn't want Hermione to become pregnant as
a teenager. I think she also didn't want her characters engaging in
sex in part because she's not writing a realistic novel and in part
because they had more important concerns--like Voldemort. And I think
that Ron's and Hermione's waiting until they're ready (and, no doubt,
married) is refreshing. Why not wiat until emotional maturity catches
up with hormones? It has less to do with moriality, IMO, than with
common sense.

Carol, who agrees with Ginny that her brothers are hypocrites but is
nevertheless glad that the "sex" among Hogwarts students is limited to
snogging and writhing like eels in a comfortable chair, fully dressed