banning Beedle / Ron

[Carol]

No: HPFGUIDX 186372

> Carol wrote in <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/186257>:
> 
> << What annoyed me in the books was that Ron, who had been hailed as a Quidditch champion in OoP ("Weasley is our king") was back to the same old insecurities in HBP with the Felix Felicis episode.

Catlady responded: 
> I think probably I can say that 'self-confident' and 'feeling insecure' are opposites; 25-ish years ago I was in a mlist with some people who spoke of 'internal validation' and 'external validation', where 'internal validation' is roughly the same as 'self-confidence'. Presumably there is some sort of premise that humans need validation, so people who lack internal validation seek validation elsewhere i.e. externally. Meaning that people who seek praise or admiration are guilty of feeling insecure.
> 
> The above was all explanation of terms that I will use in my reply:
> 
> In real life, people who lack self-confidence do not gain it from just one gloriously, intoxicatingly, ecstatically joyous and pleasurable instance of external validation. That high wears off and one gradually goes back to one's normal self. So I never understood why you always complained that Rowling depicted Ron realistically in this matter. It seemed to me obvious all along that << his insecurity [is] a terrible burden that he constantly bears and only occasionally reveals to his friends >> just like in real life. I am struck that it took literary analysis for you to figure this out.

Carol responds:
My initial reaction to Ron was as a reader, not analyzing the text as a literary critic but simple annoyance with Ron as a character or person (Why are you acting like this? You can play Quidditch! Get over it!) and with JKR for writing a scene so similar to one we'd already gone through with the same outcome (Ron proves that he can play Quidditch when he gets over his mental blocks). My reaction was, okay, we've been here already. Why are you making him go through the same process all over again?

I don't think in sociological terms ("internal validation" vs. "external validation") though I do see the point you're making, that praise and recognition are not a permanent cure for low self-esteem. I don't think that I would have arrived at that conclusion on my own, and it certainly was not a given for me as it evidently was for you. I do think in terms of literary analysis, as you know, but my understanding of Ron (not necessarily the same as anyone else's) did not come from literary analysis, which is my after-the-fact explanation of the conclusions I arrived at.

It came from Ron's confrontation with the Horcrux, which served for me--as it did, IMO, for Harry and perhaps for Ron himself--as an epiphany. So *that's* why Ron acts as he does. *That's* why he can't get over his lack of self-confidence and realize that he's a good Quidditch player and a loyal friend and that Hermione loves him and whatever. I did understand why Ron would lack confidence given that he's the seventh son that his brothers are all successful in their various ways. That's a lot to live up to without the additional burden of being the best friend of Harry Potter. But I didn't understand why proving himself on the Quidditch field didn't help him to get over it (unless it was because Harry and Hermione didn't witness his saves), and I certainly didn't see why JKR would inflict a similar scene on the reader (other than that the plot required her to foreshadow the effects of Felix Felicis and to have Ron and Hermione at odds with each other again. Now I understand that episode *as a literary device* illustrating that Ron's insecurity is so strongly rooted that no amount of what you call "external validation" can root it out. Only self-understanding and an unequivocally heroic action in which he actually saves the heretofore "superior" Harry can give him the self-confidence and self-esteem ("internal validation") that he needs to accept himself as a person worthy of Hermione's love and Harry's friendship. Once he understands that he is both competent and courageous (a true Gryffindor), he no longer needs praise or applause or even Hermione's approval. He can stand up to her and be confident that she'll come back to him. No more fear that he'll lose Hermione); no more envy of Harry; no more desire to follow in the footsteps of his brothers. He's free of the demons that have tormented him for years, free to be himself.

Carol, who hates the abstraction of sociological terms and simply does not think in that way