[HPforGrownups] Mothers (was Depression (was Re: DH reread CH 31

[Quidditch.Master]

No: HPFGUIDX 187502

potioncat:

I wouldn't think of Lily in terms of handling depression. We don't see her even sad at any point. She's very comfortable in her own skin. Even when she ends the relationship with Severus, she does it and moves on. We don't see any glimmer of regret at the way it turned out. She is a strong woman who makes decisions and acts on them, and is in control. 

quidditchmaster:

And that was exactly my point. Lily was stronger than Merope and therefor her son is the good guy. I know it is a shoty comparison, but it is made in HBP when Harry pities Voldemort because his mother left him alone. JKR brings up that comparison when Harry thinks "How could his (Voldemort) mother do that?" (or something along those lines). 

Pippin:
I've thought that too. Lily might be JKR in her wildest dreams: beautiful, charming, super-talented, tough, capable and protective, married into wealth and privilege. And Merope is the opposite: a woman deprived of every resource. By killing both characters, perhaps JKR symbolically put both those fantasies to rest.

potioncat:

But they do make an interesting comparison. It is two different types of mothers for two different characters. It has just crossed my mind that Merope and Lily may be two sides of JKR.

quidditchmaster:

Right, the ideal mom. And also, maybe JKR did feel depressed enough to consider if her child wouldn't be better off without her. The existence of those two characters can be how she felt the time she was depressed: in one hand she was depressed, sad and lonely and all that and on the other hand she knew she had to (and wanted to) be strong for her daughter's sake.

potioncat:


Merope has some events in common with JKR. In the same ABC interview, JKR said that she has not spoken with her father in years, that she was afraid of him when she was a child, and that she tried for too long to please him and earn his love. We know she had an unhappy marriage, had a child to raise on her own, with little money and was depressed. Sounds very similar to Merope's story. Yet, she also overcame adversity, took care of her daughter, and moved on.

quidditchmaster:

I didn't see the interview, but that makes a good point. Maybe she did use Lily and Merope as the yin and yang of motherhood?


      

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