James and Intent And Snape and Love LONG

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 187047


> Alla:
> 
> And that is exactly what I was hoping you would say. Not in a "gotcha" sense, but because that is how I feel too, but precisely for that reason I disagree that we can label James as bully in anywhere but SWM. Because to me hexing in the hallways seems like an activity for many young wizards and I am sure plenty including Snape gave James back as good as they could.
> 

Pippin:
Bullying is habitual aggressive behavior against  weaker individuals, IMO. One on one, if James and Snape were evenly matched then it would not be bullying by that definition, regardless of which one was more aggressive. But according to the detention cards, James and Sirius acted together, occasionally accompanied by Lupin and Pettigrew, against single students like Bertram Aubrey.  That *is* bullying, because it's two, or three, or four, against one. 

 It is  clear from canon that attacks on Snape were habitual.
Go out with me, James says to Lily, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivellus again. And Lupin asks rhetorically if he ever told James and Sirius to lay off Snape.

> Alla:
> 
>  Pippin, and I mean it very respectfully,  I do not think that you (or anybody here) are in the position to  tell me that my experiences did not happen. Maybe "if you truly love me you'd understand what I need" was not been your experience, but it certainly had been mine. 

Pippin:
I didn't know you were speaking from experience. I thought you were daydreaming. My bad.

It is not just me, though. Many counselors and therapists use this as a classic example of  unrealistic expectations. I thought it worked for me too, right up until it didn't. :) YMMV.

In canon, sometimes Hermione understands exactly what Ron or Harry needs before they do themselves, and sometimes her attempts to anticipate their needs are laughable. But Harry certainly never thinks that if she really cared about him or Ron, she wouldn't get it wrong. All the fun is in the fact that she really does care, but she just doesn't get it, because being a teenage boy is outside her experience.

And there are times when the Trio get it wrong in really big ways, Ron thinking that Harry and Hermione want each other, or Harry thinking that Ron is going to pitch a fit if he finds out that Harry has fallen for his sister.  

In Snape's case, he hadn't spoken to Lily in four or five years, and wouldn't have been able to see her regularly, or at all if she was in hiding already as an Order member,  so how would he know that she was happy? As I said, even Harry didn't understand how she could have been.


Pippin