What triggered ancient magic? WAS: Re: James and Intent

[mesmer44]

No: HPFGUIDX 187069

"pippin_999" <foxmoth at ...> wrote:
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>  
> > Alla:
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> > Exactly! It is all about Snape, what he knows, what he experienced, what he wants in my opinion. If he truly loved Lily, I think he would have done his best to look at situation from her POV and maybe he would have seen that she married a husband whom she loved and had a child that she adored.
> 
> Pippin:
> Oh dear, oh dear. "If you really loved me, you'd understand what I need" ???? --  Sorry, love does not work like that and not only in real life.  I can think of a lot of people in canon who love and honestly have no idea what the person they love needs, or what would make that person truly happy,  starting with the Dursleys and Dudley. 


Steve replies:  From a counselor's pov, in real life, love does work like that many times. Many people who truly love someone, go the extra mile to make a special effort to empathize with what that person needs and if it is within their power to do so, will make an effort to do so.  True, some people have no clue what others that they love want or need.  But if those people are in loving relationships w/ that person, and if that person is aware of the lack of empathy and understanding going on there, it is going to affect the future of that relationship. It's been my experience that women are a bit more inclined to and usually better able to empathize w/ what the men in their relationships want and need than vice versa. But there are men out there willing and able to do this as well.
Some people don't care if others really know what they feel or not.  Some require it. Some want to have their feelings remain their own, and fear that kind of intimacy or empathy. Some hope for empathy but expect a lot less.  

Canon shows that Snape did love Lily. And when you do love someone, looking at that person's pov is a lot easier to do and in many cases a lot more desireable to do than if you don't love that person.  I'm not sure if Snape took the time to try and understand how Lily felt and why she felt about things.  It would seem like his own pov and his own allegiances to Slytherin and his peer group got in the way of considering Lily's pov at times, but that's IMO of course, and those who know canon on Snape would be better qualified to address that question.