What triggered ancient magic? WAS: Re: James and Intent

[mesmer44]

No: HPFGUIDX 187143

<willsonkmom at ...> wrote:  

> > Steve earlier:  From a counselor's pov, in real life, love does work like that many times. Many people who truly love someone, go the extra mile to make a special effort to empathize with what that person needs and if it is within their power to do so, will make an effort to do so.  True, some people have no clue what others that they love want or need.  But if those people are in loving relationships w/ that person, and if that person is aware of the lack of empathy and understanding going on there, it is going to affect the future of that relationship. 
> 
> Potioncat:
> I hope you're not saying that if one person doesn't automatically know what the other person wants/needs then there isn't love. Now, I'd have to agree that having learned what the other wants/needs and making no effort to provide it (within reason) is a different matter.
> 
> Ron had to read a book to find out how to please Hermione (no smirking out there). We saw him listening more and stopping himself to reconsider her feelings.
> 
> (Well, I had to work canon in, didn't I?)

Steve replies:
    No, I wasn't saying that not knowing what the person you love wants or needs means that you don't really love that person. I just meant that when this is the case, your empathic understanding and emotional awareness of the person you love is limited. In time it's possible to get better at knowing what the person you love needs and wants.  In Ron's case, he used that book.  But it was Ron's genuine desire to understand and please Hermione that prompted him to get and use the book. Hopefully, in time, as Ron matured and learned through trial and error (and Hermione's encouragment and help) he became more empathetic to his wife and children's needs.  But even if 
Ron continued to need the help of  his family (and that book..lol) to know what they were feeling, needing and wanting, I'd bet he still continued loving them deeply.