Snape and Harry

[justcarol67]

No: HPFGUIDX 188954

Alla wrote:
<snip> 
> See, I think I understand and agree that it will not be an apology if he is saying it to anybody else, but if it is expressed to another party who is involved, I think in essence it is an apology, judgment that is, even if the words I am sorry are not said.
> 
> Like see below what I wrote to Pippin, does it make sense? I mean if for example I say to victim of robbery, I am disgusted over the actions of the person who robbed you. How is it not my apology for a robber, even if I am not saying the words `I am sorry'? I will ask you off list tonight, ok, probably I just need to wrap my mind around subtle language differences.
> 
> Not that I MIND Harry saying that. I just feel that it is extremely unfair burden to place on him while not placing any burden on Snape.

Carol responds:

First, I agree with you that Harry has not need to apologize for any behavior but his own invasion of Snape's memories in the Pensieve (not that Snape gave him the opportunity). He's not responsible for his father's actions. Nevertheless, he's definitely ashamed of his father's actions, and, for the time being, he's completely in sympathy with Snape, even after Snape chases him from his office in a rage.

Of course, here, as in so many other instances in the HP books, Harry can't say what he wants to say. Even if Snape weren't raging at him, just to speak of Snape's humiliation at his father's hands (which he knows Snape didn't want him to see) is impossible. (He doesn't know that what James said and did is not the worst part of that memory for Snape, but it's bad enough.) You simply don't say to someone who has power over you that you feel sorry for them or for something that happened in their past, especially if that person already hates you. He could, however, have said that he was sorry for entering the memories that Snape obviously didn't want him to see, for, in essence, sneaking and snooping, but he doesn't have the opportunity and it's unlikely that Snape would have believed him given his view of Harry. This incident just cements Snape's view of Harry, and, eventually, it fades from Harry's memory, along with the three smaller memory flashes involving Snape's childhood, replaced by his awareness of Snape's antipathy toward him and, later, his own desire to believe the worst of Snape from Sirius's death onward. That hatred is intensified by the revelation that Snape revealed the Prophecy to Voldemort and reaches its peak when Snape "murders" DD and all Harry wants is to get revenge on him. The brief moment of understanding on Harry's part, unmatched by a matching revelation of Harry's true character to Snape, is lost until it's too late.

As for saying you're sorry that someone was robbed being an apology for the robber, I don't think that's true, any more than saying you're sorry that someone's loved one died is an apology for the cause of death, whether it's cancer or a drunken driver. There are two kinds of "I'm sorry." One is an apology for your behavior (Tiger Woods's apology for his infidelity, for example). The other is an expression of sympathy: "I'm sorry for your loss" (or sorry that you're not feeling well or that you're disappointed by something). If Harry said that he was sorry for what happened to Snape in SWM, it would be a combination of both--sorry that his dad was a bully (an apology of sorts) and sorry that Snape was a victim (sympathy or pity). But if Harry said that he was sorry for entering the Pensieve, it would be an apology, pure and simple. And Snape, I'm quite sure, wouldn't want to hear either "sorry." 

Carol, who thinks that miscommunication and lost opportunities are a frequent motif in the HP books