Lily and Snape

[montavilla47]

No: HPFGUIDX 188675

> antonia31h:
> I think a gesture from Snape, while Lily was alive could have mattered to her and make her realise that he was an honorable and trustworthy friend after all. Yes, after her death he tried his best to protect her son (in his own manner) and to repay the debt that he felt he had towards her. But why not try to talk to her, to prove to her all this while she was still alive? If the "mudblood" gesture made her turn away, couldn't have been any other act of his that might have made her forgive him? If I would have been in Snape's situation and considering that the person I loved was in danger and could be gone forever at any moment, I would have wanted not to let her go without explaining myself. I would have wanted to see a scene from his memories where he at least tries as an adult to talk to Lily and to make her forgive him.
> 

Montavilla47:

Pardon me if this has been addressed by others:

Snape did try to talk to Lily.  He tried quite hard, since he
camped outside the Gryffindor common room and refused to
move until she came out.  

It's clear from the book that Lily was the one who broke
things off.  Any further communication from Snape at that
point could easily be construed as harrassment.  If Snape 
didn't contact her after she broke it off, that can be seen
as him treating her with consideration for her feelings.

I think it's interesting what Pippin says about love not
leading, in this series, to people treating their loved ones
with consideration.  We see that over and over again with
Ron and Hermione being prime examples.  We know that
they're in love by the third or fourth book.  (Even Harry
knows it in GoF!)  But they continue to belittle each 
other and try to make the other one jealous or angry
throughout the series.  Even in the epilogue, Ron is 
hiding things from Hermione.

Likewise, Harry loves Ginny, but he doesn't really take
her feelings into account, does he?  As late as the final
battle for Hogwarts, he's unhappy to see her show up and
sides with Molly in making Ginny sit in a room while 
everyone else is defending the castle.  That she gets out of 
that restriction is *despite* Harry, not because of him.

So, yes, Love and Consideration are not usually partnered
in the world of Harry Potter.  

And, in the earliest Lily/Snape scenes, we see that young
Severus is very consider of Lily's feelings--considerate
enough to lie about his own feelings and tell her that it
won't matter that she's Muggleborn, and to try and curb
his anti-Muggle prejudice in her presence.  The problem
between them doesn't seem to be any lack of empathy from
Snape but rather his fundamental nature--which is 
unpleasant, ambitious, and bigotted.

Ironically, since Snape is one of the few lovers who 
does try to change himself to please another person, he
comes off (in contrast to everyone else) as obsessive.

But he can't change--at least, he can't without a huge
tragic loss and a lot of hard work.  All that hard work
can't change him to the point where he can love someone
he doesn't.  But it does change him enough to try and
save people he doesn't love.

Montavilla47