Dudley (was Re: Why did Barty Crouch Jr join Voldemort?)

[Geoff]

No: HPFGUIDX 189767



--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, June Ewing <doctorwhofan02 at ...> wrote:

June:
> > Personally I don't think Dudley was bad at all. He only behaved
> > the way he did because his parents made him (part of what
> > Dumbledore had in mind when he said his parents had abused him).
 
Carol:
> I don't wholly agree. Yes, certainly, his parents spoiled him, but Dudley was acting like a brat even as a toddler, kicking his mother and screaming for "sweets"
> <SNIP>
 
> I agree that he became what he was because his parents indulged him, but he was not faultless himself.<SNIP>
 
June: 
> Children are the products of their parents. If a parent spoils and allows a child to get away with things the child will take advantage of it in all aspects of life. 

<snip>

Geoff:
Speaking from experience of teaching teenage pupils in a South London 
secondary school - later High School - and being involved with youth work,
mainly boys' clubs in the couple of churches with which I and my wife have 
worked over 35 years, I am inclined to lean to June's view.

Very often, when we came up against a difficult child, if you investigated 
his or her  background, it often emerged not necessarily in conversation 
but by observation, that the parents were not prepared to spend time 
individually with their children but developed an attitude that if they gave
children things which they asked for, their needs were met and all was well.

If Johnny wanted a bike, Johnny had a bike. If Joanne wanted a new dress, 
Joanne had a new dress. The result was a child who expected the world to 
revolve round them and became ill-disciplined, confrontational and downright
awkward when asked to do something which didn't "grab" them (such as a 
lesson in a subject they didn't like) or to work as a member of a group.

I think that these children were not necessarily inherently awful but were the 
products of their environment and often were being used by their parents for
their own ends.

Just as a side point here, I see Draco Malfoy as being in this category. I have
in the past said that I have a sneaking sympathy for him and see him as a rather
unloved boy given "things" to keep him happy and used as a tool to further the 
glory of the Malfoy house. It is little wonder that, at their first meeting, he 
expected Harry to snap to attention and fawn at his feet; it must have been a
cataclysmic shock to discover that Harry didn't know who he was and didn't 
immediately rush to his side.

Returning to school it was also interesting that if parents were called in because 
of their child's misbehaviour, parents would leap to their defence: their child was 
a model of decorum; it was the awful kids in the rest of the class; the teachers 
ought to be controlling their classes; they were unjustly being made scapegoats 
and so on and so on....

Another thought along these lines was what I called "the Bannister Theory of 
Unusual Names". If a child had an unusual first name, they were quite often
difficult and spoiled. One of the few students who ever assaulted me physically
was a boy called Raemond; children such as Chelsea, Tarquin, Sexton or Quentin 
were often pains in the neck (or other regions) - although some names have 
become more common as  years have passed. Again, some parents have inflicted
names on their offspring without considering how the recipients might view 
these in later years and have only done it again to please themselves and perhaps
polish their own egos. I remember being told by a colleague who went to a degree
ceremony where full names were read out - including middle names - and found
out that a friend who she knew as Crystal Lear had a middle name of Shanda. Which
parent with any thought or love would inflict that on a child?

The result sometimes is that the child can become a disaster waiting to happen 
when he or she comes into contact (and conflict) with the world outside that of 
their family and they cannot rise above the mischief wrought at home. It is not
until late - possibly too late? - that Dudley Dursley tries to make his own peace 
with Harry and it takes a traumatic event to trigger this.