[HPforGrownups] Re: On the Issue of "Boys will be Boys" Chapt 14 Disc

[Shelley]

No: HPFGUIDX 190081


> Steve:
>
> But in all honesty, isn't it also human nature to NOT explain things to kids? To simply expect them to obey without explanation?
>
> The answer to a kid's "Why?" is very frequently "Because I said so."
>
> I do agree Harry should have been told more and sooner, but at the same time, I think the adults treated him the way most adults always treat kids.
>
> And much like a typical Kids, Harry complains that no one ever bothers to tell him anything. Just obey, and don't tax your tiny little brain. He feels the same frustration that real kids feel when adults unwisely keep them out of the loop.
>
> Again, this conflict between the nature of adults and the nature of kids make Harry very endearing, because his frustration is a frustration we've all felt as kids.
>
> Just a few thoughts.
>
> Steve/bboyminn
Yeah, and no. I can see the wisdom of telling the kids "Your dad lost 
his job and we won't have money to do a lot of things" but neglect to 
tell them you don't know how to pay for groceries next week or that the 
house they are living it is in danger of being foreclosed on. I can see 
telling the kids that you aren't getting along so well with the other 
spouse and need a break, but not telling them you have visited the 
divorce lawyer and have actively been talking about how to screw the 
other person over in the proceedings that will come.

But for Harry, he didn't even know how his parents died until Hagrid 
came along! He had no pictures of them, didn't know what they looked 
like, knew nothing of their lives. Personally, if I was very good 
friends of someone, and they died, I wouldn't be so tight lipped about 
who they were around their only surviving child. One way to keep the 
memory of my friend alive would be to share all my memories with that 
child. It would keep that dead friend alive for both of us. Hagrid 
shares only a tiny amount, but no one else does, and that bothered me 
about the series. It's not trivial details that that the adults don't 
fill Harry in on, it's the basics: your parents were Wizards, they 
fought Voldemort, your Dad was a Quidditch player, your Mom was 
brilliant in school- we were all very proud of your parents and you 
should be too. That's my irritation with Lupin- he's denying Harry a 
sense of identity of who he is, and in doing so, he's almost denying 
that he was good friends with both Lilly and James. Harry's starving to 
know where he comes from; the Mirror of Erosed should have been the clue 
for Dumbledore, and yet he doesn't give Harry the means to know about 
his parents. Surely Dumbledore could have pointed him to the school's 
records of awards and trophies, so that Harry had a place to begin to 
figure out who he was. At yet, then, everyone acts like Harry should 
"honor the name of the great Lilly and James", when he's been denied 
even knowing why he should. It's a much bigger "OOPS" than the normal 
"don't tell the kids everything", and "let us adults handle it."

Shelley