OoP: Amanda goes on and on and on and on and on about Snape

[Amanda Geist]

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Blerf. I am tired of several hundreds of emails every time I sign on. In
sheerest self-defense I am reading only the ones with the word "Snape" in
the subject line, unless the subject is truly compelling. Even so, I tire. I
search for the little Old Crowd gems embedded in the vast main list matrix.
And realized I wasn't making any of my own.

So here, those of you who haven't read it on the main list...and those of
you who have, I have added new and wonderful observations brought on in a YM
with Sheryll. Enjoy.

This was begun as an old Snape/Lily-ist's take on OoP.

I think it's still a viable theory. It was by NO means proven. What it was,
was *not ruled out,* which I'll take, we have two more books to go.

The key thing I focus on here is Snape's memory.

Givens:
--he took more than one out; we have no idea what was in the others
--Harry didn't see the ending of that one

I refuse to believe that being turned upside down in public was the worst
thing that James and Sirius ever did to Snape. They didn't turn him into
anything, they didn't poison him, they didn't change him. So there had to be
another factor that made it so traumatic.

I think the other factor was the presence of an audience. But that must have
happened before, too; honestly, the way James and Sirius went into action,
the way Snape reacted, this has *got* to be a standard pattern. So audiences
have been there before, too.

So what's new, different, or especially traumatizing? They're fifteen. We've
seen the stirrings of, um, gender, shall we say, in Harry, Ron, and
Hermione, and they make a point of how James was preening for the girls. The
*girls.* They did this to Snape in front of the girls.

And the one girl who gets involved is Lily.  And he insults her fairly
egregiously.

I submit to the jury that it *may* be the case that this is a terrible
memory for him because he liked Lily, and they did this to him in front of
her. And as if he wasn't humiliated enough, she jumps in to *save* him, how
totally degrading is that? This girl you'd like to look good in front of,
not only has she seen you in your underwear, she thinks you need defending.
Oh, great.

So in your rage and humiliation, you're angry at her, too. And you strike
back at her, for she's just humiliated you, too, as much as James and Sirius
did, and right at this point you don't give a rat's ass about her intentions
being good.

And so part of the reason this memory is so bad, may well be that Lily was
there, saw, interacted.

So I think Snape/Lily is still viable. I think her presence in this bad
memory is significant. Please note: I have *always* maintained that Snape
and Lily do NOT have to have ever been a couple for this theory to work; he
just has to have honestly loved her. Which you can do without being loved
back; I think Lily would have let him down easy. No pun intended.

That's not to say that James and Sirius might have gone on to do more awful
things to Snape in that memory--I hope to God they didn't take his underwear
off--but Snape surely saw "where" they were in the memory when he went to
get Harry, and he was surely acting as if Harry had seen more than enough. I
detected no kind of hint from Snape that there was any relief that Harry
hadn't seen the worst of it.

As for the rest of the book--there really wasn't a lot of opportunity for
hinting about this sort of thing. I think most of the Snape stuff in this
book was to sow the seeds for a future understanding between him and Harry.
The seeds. It's not there yet. But they have shared memories (anyone else
surprised, as I believe Snape was, that Harry broke through to *him*? the
superb Occlumens? I think Snape removed memories to be extra careful, but I
don't think for a minute that he expected Harry to be able to do that).

Harry's reaction to glimpsing Snape's childhood was strong and odd,
considering it's Snape. "standing there with such loathing in his
eyes"...almost as if Harry regrets that it is. For one short moment, Snape
was not all the things he has come to represent over five years; he is
simply a person. And later, Harry's reaction to Snape's pensieve memory is
honest; he does not shut out the truth of it and what it means to his
beliefs about
his father. I was impressed by the maturity and bravery of Harry in this,
and earlier, when he confronts himself honestly and is willing to face the
answers. I am hoping he will be able to confront himself honestly about
Sirius' death, and stop scapegoating Snape for it, but it was just a bit too
soon to expect him to do it at the end of this book.

Snape's seen a *lot* of Harry's childhood. I think he knows that Harry's had
a terrible time of it. Snape's got neither the personality nor the behavior
patterns--or the ability, given the role he must play--to lighten up very
much. But  the word "subtle" has again been associated with him. It was in
his very first speech in book 1; and here he tells Harry that he has no
subtlety; that subtlety is needed for what he must learn. So I look for
subtle things from Snape. And I saw one.

When Harry is picking himself up after yet another failure, and Snape asks
what the last memory is, and Harry asks if it is the one of his cousin
trying to make him stand in the toilet, Snape says "No," softly. That's it.
That's all you get. This is not Remus Lupin, and Snape hates James still,
and I still think Lily is a complicating factor, and so about all Snape will
do is this. Softly. Not menacing; not dismissively; not angrily; not low;
not sneering. Softly. Because he knows, for he is hiding some of his own
memories in the pensieve, how he would hate having his childhood indignities
seen, and Harry has not once complained about this. I think he respects
Harry for this, for what he has gone through and how he is handling himself
with Snape in his head. Softly.

I also am frankly amazed that Harry gets out of Snape's office uninjured,
after Snape catches him in the pensieve. I am amazed Harry gets out
un-Obliviated. Seriously. If I were Snape, knowing how close Harry is to Ron
and Hermione, I would have made *damned* sure nobody else would hear about
that. And Snape didn't. He let him go. Snape hates Harry for doing what he
did, seeing what he saw--but he also let him go with that knowledge.

Maybe, once the damage was done, Snape wants Harry to remember what a shit
his father was. Point is, a certain amount of respect must have built up for
Snape to let Harry retain the memory. Snape is certainly a powerful enough
wizard to remove it. He was certainly angry enough not to give a damn if it
were a bad idea or not. But I think that there is respect there, albeit
grudging, and trust, albeit only based on Harry's own loyalty to Dumbledore
and what he's been through with Voldemort. Enough to let him go unhurt and
unmodified.

So, as I said, there are seeds for understanding there. But it remains to be
seen if Harry will be able to get past his blaming Snape for Sirius' death.
And I doubt Snape will do diddly to make it any easier for him.

Snape is, I say it again, one of Harry's father figures and Harry is in full
adolescent rebellion. The different aspects of fatherhood have been "spread"
over several men for Harry, and Snape is all the negatives. Snape is the one
who won't listen, the one who knows better, the one who doesn't understand,
the disciplinarian. The one you absolutely *hate* and can't wait to get away
from. The one you only come to value when your perspective has matured.

And because Harry has matured, JKR has blurred the black/white of Snape for
him. The father figure who doesn't understand, is himself not understood
very well by Harry, and Harry comes to see this. This cold man was a small
unhappy boy, was a bullied child. And JKR has also made certain that Snape
understands some things about Harry as well, and Harry knows it; he knows
Snape saw his memories.

I think in the next two books, that IF Harry can accept Sirius' death and
that he had a role in it, the development of the Snape-Harry interaction
should be interesting. I found the scenes in Snape's office, especially the
first one, where they were talking, to be very engaging. Because their
conversation was more than sniping at each other. They were conversing. This
is a new thing. I hope it develops.

Random loose thoughts:
1
One more short bit about the worst memory. Someone asked over on Chatter,
where were the gang of kids who almost all turned out to be Death Eaters?
Why wasn't anyone helping Snape? My thought: it may be that it was occasions
like this, treatment like James and Sirius were handing him, that made Snape
start running with those others. Maybe this memory was bad, also because it
was the point at which Snape, unable to fight back any other way, turned a
corner in a Dark direction to gain safety and revenge.

2
As for faulting Snape for not continuing...I think that Snape is only a man,
just like Dumbledore is only a man, and he had been pushed too far. It was
Harry's place to go back to him, whether Lupin came to talk to Snape or not.
Snape had gone very, very far in a direction he did not want to go, for
Dumbledore. Harry's abuse of that was too much.

3
I also wonder whether Snape told Dumbledore what really happened, just like
Harry didn't tell Ron and Hermione. Dumbledore told Harry that Snape was
unable to get over his feelings about Harry's father. But that's not really
what it was. Maybe Snape didn't, or really didn't want to, tell Dumbledore.
Dumbledore wasn't there in the memory, after all, and Snape would have to
have *another* person know about it. I bet he just said he couldn't continue
and left it at that. I can't believe Dumbledore wouldn't have said something
to Harry about the pensieve incident, if he'd known. I think it's just
between Snape and Harry.

4
At the end of the book, what's up with the *TEN* whole points from
Gryffindor? Snape used to take ten points if Harry looked at him funny.
Here's Harry, standing in the hall with his wand in Draco's face, admitting
openly that he's about to curse him, and no fury? No detention? Nothing? TEN
points? Ye gods. Whoever said, over on the main list, that Snape and
McGonagall seemed to be playing with the points, made a good observation.
They both know that House rivalries are so not important compared to other
things, it's a light diversion. Snape's "Oh, well, I suppose so.." is so
un-Snape sounding! His heart wasn't really in it to begin with--ten points,
honestly--and then I think he's very glad McGonagall is back. They're
playing.

5
I noted that Snape is the only teacher, or one of the few, whose civil
disobedience is not pointed out. He is not being openly disobedient. I don't
think he can; I think he must keep up his front with Lucius Malfoy and
Dolores Umbridge. But I think the fake Veritaserum, and his bland inability
to produce more, are evidence that his heart is in the right place. As for
Montague (was it Montague?) in the toilet--even if it *is* Umbridge asking
for help, Snape can hardly leave a student stuck in a toilet.

6
And I love the sarcastic wit in Umbridge's office, talking to whoever was
choking Neville. A lot of tedious paperwork indeed; mentioning it on job
references. Taking this, in light of how he handled Lockhart, and I see a
man with a very dry sense of humor indeed. But it is very much there.

For the future, now:

I think that enforced understanding of each other will *mean* something
later. It seemed significant that Harry was trying to open that mental
channel to Snape in Umbridge's office. I think they have a connection now,
on some level. I can *so* see a scenario where Harry is facing Voldemort,
and must willingly let Snape in to help him block Voldemort's Legilimens.
Dangerous game indeed.

I am reminded, for some reason, of a children's story I read long and long
ago, too long to even remember names, just the gist. These children met an
old man, turns out he was a ghost. This ghost had failed to risk his life to
rescue other children from a fire, and was doomed to the earth until he made
things right. These children helped him, they went back in time and walked
into the fire with the old man and got the kids out. I remember, the kids
didn't feel anything, the flames didn't burn them; the old man was with them
and had his hand on their shoulders. One kid stumbled and the hand slipped
and he felt terrible pain; but then the old man touched him and he was fine.
The man was taking all their pain, because should have been his to begin
with. The image was strong and has lasted. (If anyone else read that, and
remembers what it was, please tell me.)

Anyway, as I said, I think there is a bond now between Harry and Snape, a
channel, established when Harry broke through into Snape's memories. It's
gone two ways, there is an understanding there, whether they want it or not.
And I think this channel will be the means for Snape to help Harry: whether
to simply shield him, or to take a burden from him, or to fight through him.
Snape has said the mind is very complex, many layers. Will he be skilled
enough to do this undetected? Will Harry realize he's doing it, or will
Harry have to trust Snape and decide to let him in? Hard decision, leap of
faith.

This is my premonition...what do you think?

Wow. What a lot of Snape. Now if only I could get *JKR* to do that. When's
book 6 due out...?

~Amanda
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Those who cannot hear the music, think the dancers daft.