FILK: The Story of Harry and Voldie

[Haggridd]

Steve Sondheim's "Follies" (1971) has been described as a "success 
d'estime", which means those persons with so-called "taste" liked it, 
but it flopped at the box office.  I think the show is a success in 
every way.  The songs are rich and wonderful.  This song, "The Story 
of Lucy and Jessie" has a great melody as well as an incredibly 
complex interwoven rhyme scheme. 

I dedicate this filk to a wizard of impeccable taste and extensive 
knowledge of the works of Stephen Sondheim, Caius Marcius.   In 
respect, I will comply with his "don't pronounce the `T' 
in `Voldemort'" rule, even though I believe the correct non-filking 
pronunciation does voice the `T'.

-Haggridd

SCENE:  Albus Dumbledore recounts the climactic battle between Harry 
Potter and Lord Voldemort in OOP as they struggle within the same 
being, making it hard to kill the one without harming the other.  The 
Order of the Phoenix members are helpless to intervene, except in 
song.

THE STORY OF HARRY AND VOLDIE 

ALBUS:
Here's a little story 'bout the Wizards' War
About two names of note.
Let us call them Harry "P" and Voldie "Mort".
About whom Jo Rowling wrote.
Now Harry's immaturity
Along with insecurity
Has come from being only six and ten.
Voldie Mort's impurity's
Not buried in obscurity.
The Dark Mark flies much higher than Big Ben.
Given their antipathy,
You may ask why
Their two destinies are tied.
Blood from both reside,
Inside.

Harry's not scary,
He's very sincere.
Voldie's an oldie,
He radiates fear.
Harry's young, he's no oldie. 
Voldie knows he is scary.
Harry's mingled with Voldie,
And Voldie, Harry.
You see, Voldie's voracious
He feeds from a snake.
Harry is gracious;
Eats Hagrid's rock cake.
Voldie cannot be gracious,
Harry's mingled with Voldie.
I find it most vexatious
But it's foretold, eh?

Takes it's tolls,
Bewitching spells and switching roles.
Harry wants to vanquish Voldie's lies,
Voldie wants to see that Harry dies.

CHORUS, ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
Now when you see  Harry "P,"
Callow, fallow Harry "P,"
Let him know he's stronger than he can see.
Now if you see Voldie "Mort,"
Rotting, plotting Voldie "Mort,"
Tell him that he's more disgusting than a wart.
(Sorry, Caius Marcius, the "T" is pronounced this time,  I couldn't 
resist.)
Wary Harry,
Moldy Voldie,
Wary Harry
Moldy Voldie


ALBUS:
Harry keeps hurtin'
>From scar on his head.
Voldie is certain.
He wants Harry dead.
Harry really is certain.
Voldie's causing his hurtin'.
If Harry and Voldie could just disentwine,
I could tell you someone
Who would finally feel just fine!

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
Wary Harry


ALBUS:
Just fine!

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
Dressy Jessie...
Moldy Voldie


ALBUS:
Just fine!

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
Wary Harry


ALBUS:
Just fine!

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX:
Moldy Voldie


ALL:
Tell 'em that they ought to part by hook or crook,
 Legilimancy opens Harry like a book!

ALBUS:
Yeah!

Haggridd 12/16/04