Michael Jackson filk

[quigonginger]

I know it's not customary to post filks here, but I thought Tim and 
Randy might enjoy this.  I posted it on the Hog's Head, and it will 
be up on CMC's filk site in a day or two (he's continuously 
updating), but since I quoted Tim, I thought I'd let him see it.

If you don't like filks, go on to the next message.

This is from the Hog's Head (in its entirety):
*********************************

Quite recently, in a galaxy so close as to be considered a parallel 
universe, Tim Regan (Dumbledad) said:

"I think I know who the human Horcrux is, and it is not Harry. Let's
examine the evidence

1) Having part of the soul of the Dark Lord residing inside you would
drain you of your vitality and color.
2) Voldemort's meddling in his own soul reduced his once handsome
features to "glaring red eyes and slits for nostrils" (PS/SS C17)
3) Voldemort's sense of grandeur and destiny would start to take over
your own judgements.

In short, one of Voldemort's horcruxes is Michael Jackson."

Needless to say, it spawned a filk.

To Tim Regan


Horcrux  To the tune of Thriller by Michael Jackson.

The scene:  The cave.  Harry has forced DD to drink the green goo.

HARRY:
You've drained the basin,
And now you're needing water from the lake.
You'd put your face in,
But instinct tells you that is a mistake.
You try to scream,
And *aguamenti's* futile; you must face it.
Water's a dream,
And once you touch the lake, you realize:
It's your demise.

'Cause this is Horcrux, Horcrux night.
And no one's gonna save you 
>From th' inferi left and right.
'Cause this is Horcrux, Horcrux night.
You're fighting for your life to get a Horcrux, 
No lux, tonight.

Magical drink banned, 
The lake's the only place where waters run.
You feel the cold hand, 
And then you realize what you have done.
You see their eyes,
A horror that's beyond imagination.
Your memory fries.
Inferi start to creep up from behind.
You've lost your mind.

'Cause this is Horcrux, Horcrux night.
They're coming by by the score, 
And there's no chance to set it right.
'Cause this is Horcrux, Horcrux night.
You're fighting for your life to get a Horcrux,
No lux tonight.

Out of the pool-
(Where is Paula Abdul to teach promanade?)
If they were dancin' 
We might have a chance to flee in time.
The walls I climb.
This is LV's perfect crime. 

You try the old spells,
But more keep coming in on every side.
Your nightmare's worst hells,
You wonder if your Headmaster has died.
But just in time, 
He comes around and casts a ring of fire.
He's so sublime.
He boards the boat and you cast off to sea.
Now you are free.

It was a Horcrux, Horcrux night.
And you're with Dumbledore
So there's no cause to shake or cry.
Yeah, it's a Horcrux, Horcrux night.
So you just hang on tight,
And have a Horcrux, no lux, soul tucks,
This sucks! here tonight.

DUMBLEDORE (a la Vincent Price):
Darkness rules Tom Riddle's land.
Hold tight your wand within your hand.
Creatures out to suck your blood
Are lurking in the salt and mud.
Remember, Harry, if you're found,
A ring of fire to cast around.
If it is cast, all's good and well,
But if it's not, you're doomed to hell.

Their soulless eyes all seem to stare.
Their bony hands are everywhere.
They rise up from their liquid tomb
To seal your fate and bring your doom.

And though we managed to survive,
As I could *Accio lux*,
There's more than one way to deprive
The Dark Lord of a Horcrux.


Ginger, who will never read that scene without thinking of dancing 
inferi again.