TBAY - SLIGHT RASH (slightly spoilerish, too)

[Barry Arrowsmith]

Got to fill some space somehow.
Don't need much though.
Dum
De
Dum
Dee
Dee
'Twill suffice.



"Not so bad as last time."
Those with any sense of self-preservation had dived for secure hidey- 
holes at the imminent prospect of Hurricane Jo; The Sequel - "And  
this time I mean it." Kneasy had taken the precaution of lashing  
himself to the grog-barrel from the ESE!Sirius construct reasoning  
that a salver would reckon the barrel was worth saving even if he  
wasn't.

The construct had been battered but not totally demolished,  
character's opinions being less destructive than definitive canon- 
shots. Still, the storm surge had carried him far from his usual  
patch among the detritus at the high-water mark, and the water- 
logged, barely floating ramshackle agglomeration was nudging a  
stretch of beach he didn't recognise.

Loosing himself, he then struggled ashore, hampered still by the  
handicap of Snape!Son clamped ferociously to his left leg. He looked  
down.

"So you survived too, didya? Good boy. You'll make me famous yet."

The diminutive tot smiled gummily up at him, releasing a cascade of  
drool that slid down into Kneasy's once-fashionable footware.

"Wonder where we are? Nobody about, still shelterin' I expect. Need  
to find some civilisation - and I could murder a bacon sarnie."

Puffing and blowing he negotiated the dunes behind the beach and  
found himself on a ridge looking down on a  small hamlet. Just a few  
yards away the coast road offered an easy access to the huddle of  
houses and with a few mutterings and curses he soon found himself  
outside the local Owl Office. Still no signs of life, however there  
was an information board with a map. As he approached, miniscule  
writing above an arrow appeared on it -

"You are here. And if you want my advice you'll go somewhere else as  
soon as possible. Further information and dire prognostications can  
be obtained from the "Speak Your Fate" animated oracle (TM Trelawney  
Enterprises, motto "Why fear the worst when we can confirm it?")  
situated outside the Horklump Harmonious Tearooms and Mobile Library.  
Which just happens to be next door. Sometimes."

"Wha' the?"

Kneasy scratched his dandruff and cast an uneasy glance over his  
shoulder.

"Is somebody playin' silly buggers?"

He lurched across to the adjacent shop-front, taking the opportunity  
to shake his foot as he went. Snape!Son had discovered that having a  
nasal discharge was just as much fun as dribbling.

"Ease off, son. Else I'll get the rheumatiz.
"Now. What we got 'ere?"

"Ooh! A customer! Just a minute while I pop round the back for some  
tea-leaves."

The voice emanated from a table covered in a swirling mist. There was  
a pause before a chipped mug of anaemic tea appeared.

"Drink up, swirl the dregs and turn the cup upside down, place it on  
the table and we'll see what we shall see.  Mmm. Ah. Yes.  Well.  
You're going to die. Um. And travel. In that order. Not surprising  
really. Considering. That'll be one Galleon."

"Eh? That's daft. Unless somebody stuffs me and puts me in  a circus  
sideshow. Can't see why they' want to. And what do you mean -  
'considerin'?"

"Oh. You must be a stranger. Well, round here a lot of the dead, the  
ones that got in the way of a nasty spell, don't lie down - not for  
long anyway. They join the one who killed them. You know who," she  
whispered, " and they're always looking for new playmates. Why,  
there's this perfectly charming couple who wander around searching  
for their son. Or they would be charming if they spruced themselves  
up a bit. And washed the dirt off. And said hello. They're convinced  
that one day he'll come to visit, his mother especially. And they'll  
welcome him with open arms, I'm sure. They've certainly welcomed  
everybody else from around here over the past few months."

"Urk!" gasped Kneasy. "What is this place?"

"Godric's Hollow. Didn't you know? And I don't want to blow my own  
trumpet or anything like that, but I've foreseen it all." Here her  
voice took on a harsh, croaking quality - "S.L.I.G.H.T. R.A.S.H"

Slaughtered Lily Inferiated; Godric's Hollow's Terrifying Reanimation  
Attacks Son Harry.

"Er, 'scuse me," quavered Kneasy, "which is the quickest way out of  
town?"