A couple more maladies

[Barry Arrowsmith]

 >
 > Carolyn
 > Enjoying the thought of presenting a Kneasy publishing proposal to
 > her current company.
 >

Not advisable, I think.
There are aspects of knowledge where it is not wise to delve too  
deeply lest the nameless horror be awakened. The public deserves  
protection.
Besides, they'd never fork out the necessarily enormous advance  
required to top up my wine cellar.

No matter.
I've managed to piece together further fragments found in that  
birdcage. The junk shop  owner hinted that there were more bits of  
paper stuffed into some of the items making up this job lot from a  
house-clearance.


Parvo Lycanthropus.

This canine infection is contracted by  werewolves in their  
wanderings at full moon and the symptoms are typically consistent  
with those found in the average domestic dog, though only while the  
sufferer is in lupine mode, the virus becoming cryptic and  
intractable once the patient reverts to human form, though he still  
may suffer from loss of appetite, lethargy, GI upsets, etc.

Therefore any treatment must necessarily be administered to a  
mindless, ravening  monster intent on ripping out the throats of  
those attempting to alleviate the condition. This requires committed  
CoMC specialists to show immense dedication and bravery and since  
there are so few selfless individuals with these attributes,  
compulsory participation is required of all Ministry CoMC personnel  
on the principle that if you want a pension you're going to have to  
earn it.

Every full moon teams of these specialists (Parvo Patrols), heavily  
armoured and liberally supplied with nets, can be found nervously  
responding to reports of atypical lycanthropic activity. (Note:  
Magically mediated stunning or immobility is  contra-indicated.  
Inserting the medicament down the throat of a patient in these states  
triggers the 'gag' reflex, resulting in choking or expulsion of the  
preparation.)

Having cornered and restrained the patient, prised open the jaws and  
settled any remaining argument as to whose turn it is to stuff the  
nostrum past fangs the size of bananas and down the target gullet  
while being assailed by baleful blood-shot yellow eyes and halitosis  
that would stun a jarvey, the medication is eventually carefully  
administered and the team retreat, leaving the patient still  
restrained. Even trained wizards have a marked reluctance to untie an  
enraged werewolf. 'The patient can untie himself come morning' being  
the considered opinion of those concerned.

It is known that in the Muggle community there are preventative  
measures (referred to as vaccines) that greatly reduce the incidence  
and severity of this infection. However, the probably extreme  
reaction of a werewolf to someone approaching whilst apparently armed  
with a silver spike are too dreadful to contemplate and no wizard  
could be induced to attempt it. Instead it is hoped that the Muggle  
preventative programme will reduce the number of possible sources of  
infection, thus eventually lowering the incidence of transmission to  
the lycanthropic community.


Affective Wand Syndrome.

That the majority of wands are constructed from a magical core with  
an outer sheathing of wood - usually hard-wood, ash, oak, sycamore,  
etc. is universally known. IWD has been reported among wielders of  
such wands, though it  is extremely rare.

Soft-wood wands are a different matter. Soft-woods are prone to  
producing splinters, and these splinters, being from wood in close  
association with an intensely magical core, also become imbued with  
magical properties. This phenomenon is known as PMA (Passive Magical  
Absorption). Thus splinters unexpectedly penetrating the skin can  
give rise to a range of minor, though irritating, conditions.

Large splinters are not normally a problem, being easily sensed and  
quickly extracted. Very small splinters, on the other hand, may  
penetrate unnoticed.

These will produce symptoms that will vary according to the infective  
wood, the absorbed magic having the effect of magnifying certain  
characteristics associated with that particular tree and transferring  
these to the wand owner.

Thus if a patient presents complaining of an infestation of red  
squirrels, the healer can be certain that a pine wand is the proximal  
cause. Similarly, if it is found that the patient has brown and white  
birds with a raucous call nesting behind his ears, one can be assured  
there's a cactus wand involved; being stalked by a large black and  
white bear-like creature is indicative of bamboo, and so on.

Treatment consists of a modified "Accio!" spell followed by bed-rest  
in a woodpecker-free environment. Recovery is usually total, though  
to prevent recurrence a change of wand is advised.