TBAY (Sort of): An Interview with a Giggle

[silmariel]

Now that interviews are being discussed, I'd like to offer this irreverent 
sketched parody I've made in order not get completely lost when trying to 
find something in the interview. Hope it helps.

Silmariel

reference: http://www.mugglenet.com/jkrinterview.shtml

[Part 1]

G: Let's start with a couple of boring literary questions to look serious

Jo: *Answers*

G: Let's relax and ask some more futile questions about web site and future 
work.

Jo: Fine. *Answers*

G: I can't stand more, I have to say Snape's name. Spoil his loyalties!

Jo: I won't!

*general giggle start*

G: *insist*

Jo: *giggle*

G: *attack shippers*

*all giggle*

Jo: *elaborates* Hey, I said I'm not going to spoil the series, got it? 
*somehow she keeps giggling*

G: is DD an old fool?

Jo: *giggle* he makes emotional mistakes because he is detatched. *elaborates*

G: Will you respond to a direct question that would spoil GH? *insists*

Jo: *silence* Of course I won't, but Lily was granted a choice and we can talk 
of her bravery

G: Did she die expecting a reward?

Jo: No, she had not idea.

[Part 2]

G: Let's talk about Sirius' character.

Jo: Fine.

G: Your fiendish glee was important?

Jo: Oh, no, just quiddich. *giggle* *giggle*

G: let's talk of peeves and umbridge.

Jo: No problem, if we keep giggling.

G: I have this question from the public about Voldemort's boggart.

Jo: I know this one!

G: and DD's boggart and Erised?

Jo: sorry, no way I tell.

G: let's jump to book 7

Jo: if you must.

G: let's ask about the Dark Lords names or lack of, and world events

Jo: *gives background*

G: Sorting hat is wrong? *insist**insist*

Jo: No. No. *giggle* No. *giggle*

G: Founders?

Jo: *mistery* book 7 *giggle*

G: book 7 lenght?

Jo: No idea.

G: RAB

Jo: *expecting that one* let's play mouse and cat for a while, you are the 
mouse. *all google, I mean, giggle*

G: Gonna edit?

Jo: Feel OoP is overlong also feel it is important for not cheating in 7 that 
everything is told. Won't do anything till the series is over. *Two full 
paragraphs without laugh*

G: something new about DD?

Jo: a bit *all laugh*

G: *launches giggling questions and they all have some giggles for a while*

G: Will you please answer that battered horse of wizard/muggle ratio?

Jo: Ups. I'm driving the fandom mad. *tries to clarify* 

G: Shipping!

Jo: Yes! I did! Red herring Tonks, btw.

G: We yelled! *grin/laugh* people is delusional!! *all giggle* *G goes 
hysterical*

Jo: hey wait, that's too harsh *comes with the ever popular anvil size hints, 
but it takes time with all the giggles*

*more giggling H/G R/H shipping talk* *long* *longer*

*websites*

G: let's talk of fascinating Draco

Jo: *stops the laughs* *explains occlumency* Bully. Trapped like a stupid. Not 
a killer. 

G: DD planned to die?

Jo: can't say *little laugh*

G: but Snape... 

Jo: *giggle* can't say *elaborates* but he's not a vampire, and he's not the 
Lord of Darkness

G: ask yourself a question.

Jo: in case it wasn't clear I don't mind to spoil RAB, i'll reiterate that was 
the question I really hoped to be asked

*they RAB a little*

Jo: btw, Tonks/Lupin?

G: Shipping! Yes! *little chat about shipping and websites, giggles*

[Part 3]

G: question from the public: pensieves?

Jo: The Real Thing. 

G: Yucks, I failed that!

Jo: *explains*

G: question from the public: Grindewald?

Jo: He's dead. *dodges*

G: public, again: Gum Wrappers?

Jo: nope. Character Moment.

G: public: detail on the Veil?

Jo: as old as the MoM, study room

G: tell me more.

Jo: No.

G: Dumbledore? *insist*

Jo: look for his family, that's all. *giggle*

G: Harry's grandparents?

Jo: *desmitifies them*

G: No gryffindor heir?

Jo: No. *giggle*

*they move on to DD's death*

G: Wise bearded old wizard always dies?

That's-too-starwashis-Jo: Yes. *giggle*

*choices and prophecy reloaded, Macbeth, giggles*

G: Sirius line about dying for his friends?

Jo: he meant it

G: ....

Jo: he would have done it *digresses* there's a reason for Uglybaby!Voldemort 

G: Let's talk of eyecolors!

Jo: That's easy.

G: Ron's patronus?

Jo: A small dog.

G: Family experience?

Jo: *talks of it*

G: Two missing Gryffindors?

Jo: Oops. I forgot.

G: More shipping!

Jo: Ok!

*G/H shipping time* 

G: Is Ginny special?

Jo: Magically gifted! Seventh of a seventh!

G: Can we banish Slytherin house? *all giggle*

Jo: No. Harmony is the key.

G: But...

Jo: No! *giggle*

G: *insist*

Jo: You know I'm the author, don't you?

G: Their common room is gloomy-

Jo: Has beauty.

G: *insist**all laugh*

Jo: DE children is only a small fraction of the house.

G: But other houses don't have DE?

Jo: Sure they have.

G: But less?

Jo: Oh, let me reiterate again on the Harmony Thing. And sideways, houses are 
based on the four elements. 

G: lily's ships? Lupin? Snape?

Jo: Popular. Can't tell. Can't tell.

G: *insist**insist mentioning misleading*

Jo: *clarifies misleading**talks a little of lupin*

G: battered horse again, the twins bet in GoF?

Jo: That's easy.

G: Marauders map?

Jo: *explains how you can learn to use the map*

G: Aberforth? *all goat-giggle*

G: Gleam?

Jo: Still enormously significant, book 7.

G: Is Harry on a quest?

Jo: Oh yes.

G: Buuut...

Jo: Not so difficult.

G: Ginny possessed or a parsel? Life Debt?

Jo: No, no. No, and I can't explain.

*joke**giggle*

G: Harry's godmother? 

Jo: He doesn't have. *explains*

*realize the time, movie-talk till next row of questions*

G: Hagrid's tittle?

Jo: It's only a tittle.

G: Dobby knew the prophecy? Something about the Potters?

Jo: No. Just common knowledge.

G: has Snape been loved?

Jo: Yes.

G: Why don't we see disaparation in combat?

Jo: Usually they can't, or they don't want to.

G: Identity of Fourth man at GH?

Jo: No way! *all giggle*

[End]