Petunia's Dirty Little Secret

[Talisman]

--- In the_old_crowd at yahoogroups.com, "constancevigilance" 
<constancevigilance at ...> wrote:
>
> CV: I'd like to add a bit more wood to the fire here.
> 
> Waaaay back in 2003, when I first joined the main group, I 
>attempted 
> to make my Very First (moderated) post. I proposed that Petunia and 
> Snape have some history. If you read their descriptions, they 
> resemble each other physically.

Talisman--feathers ruffled up to her eyeballs, snorts: Severus does 
NOT have a face like a horse!!!!!

A nose like an eagle, sure.  A noble profile fit for Roman coinage: 
mais oui! 

Resemble that faded blonde Dobbin with watery blue blinkers--NEVAH!

 
 >They both are observant - Petunia is 
> described as nosy, while Snape always seems to show up whenever 
> mischief is being done. 

Snape's where he ought to be, Petunia's just a pest. So there. :P

>Both loathe Harry. 

Oh, we'll just have to see about that....  

>Both have a relationship 
> with Lily (although that wasn't part of my 2003 post because we 
> didn't know that yet).

Possibly of exceedingly different natures.


> To this day, the Petunia/Severus ship is the only ship I sail. In 
> every book, I've been expecting to see Vernon pop something and be 
> carried out of the series to be eventually replaced by Petunia's 
>one true love, that "other" boy.

ARGHHHHH.

It's not that the mind hasn't flitted there (and many other unsavory 
places)--in the wake of Rowling's *unlikely-pairing-at-the-heart-of-
it-all* teaser....

And it's not as if you'd get an argument from me that Snape's likely 
to have his fingers in every pie...

But Petunia!!!!!!    Wasting that...that wand work...that 
prowess...that dark magnetism on...on HER skanky bones!!!!!

Please, please Constance...Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!


> You never read my post about this on the main list? That's because 
>it was rejected by the mods. The reason given? "Too fanciful." I can 
> only assume my elf was a Snapefan.

Eh...I'll be diplomatic and just say that there have been more than a 
few *unfortunate* mods over there.

I would have forgiven a Snapefan for failing to send your post on, by 
virture of having passed out cold as your theory sunk in.

But to call it "too fanciful"--in the context of Main?  Smack worthy.

Reaching for the smelling salts,

Talisman