FILK: We Will Know All The Story Wrote By Jo

[Caius Marcius]

We Will Know All The Story Wrote By Jo

To the tune of We Will All Go Together When We Go by Tom Lehrer

Text and MIDI here:

http://www.casualhacker.net/tom.lehrer/evening.html#go

A slightly shortened version on You-Tube (with Star Wars footage) 
here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU2mwrxRQyA

Dedicated to Siriusly Snapey Susan

It's the climax of the Potterverse
That's arriving on the twenty-first
Of July when Deathly Hallows goes on sale.
And we've all of us had queries 
Or sophisticated theories
Quite ornate and convoluted in detail,
But better hurry
.
No more "Who will die?" or "Who lives?"
Or a parsing of Snape motives 
Will soon now never more arouse debate.
For as the saga does conclude 
It's the end of all our feuds
Once we learn everybody's final fate
..

And we will know all the story wrote by Jo
When we finish the final blow-by-blow.
It will be near and far heard,
What's before that final "scar" word.
Yes, we will know all the story wrote by Jo.

We will know all the story wrote by Jo
Who will end up in happiness or woe.
No more of "ifs", "buts" or "maybes"
When we learn who is R.A.B,
Barnes and Nobles will see their profits plateau.

Oh we will all sob in reading the last snog
For we'll have nothing more on which to blog.
We will on-screen The Phoenix see 
Then next week, we will get Kleenex-y
While perusing the ending epilogue. 

Down at Steve's Lexicon,
Pages marked "new" will soon be gone.

And we will find ev'ry answer there to find.
There will be no more forward, just rewind.
For Book Seven's circulation
Brings an end to speculation,
'Cept for what comes from reading `tween the lines.

Oh we will all hear together what's to hear
All the stuff that has puzzled us for years.
When the seventh Horcrux-tion
Is put up to its destruction
All our chat rooms of chatter will be clear. 

'Oh, we'll be stripped altogether of our ships
We will see no more joining of the lips
For there's virtually no chance
We'll have any further romance
Once we obtain the final manuscript.

We will learn what Snape was up to at the Tower of Astronomy
Which I must confess at present is totally beyond-a me

And we will know all the story wrote by Jo
After we've spent our thirty bucks or so. 
We will all find out if Harry'll
Find himself in need of burial.
Yes we will know all the story
We will know all the story
Yes we will know all the story wrote by Jo.

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm