Dumbledore's office gave an almighty lurch . . .

[Cindy C.]

The door in the corner of the FAQ dungeon opened and three people 
entered – or at least one woman, flanked by two enormous message 
blocks.

Pip's insides went cold.  The message blocks –- tall, impenetrable 
chunks of work – were gliding slowly, and the woman caught between 
looked as though she were about to faint.  Pip couldn't blame her –- 
she remembered the power of the message blocks to drain the 
lifeblood from cataloguers.  

Pip looked down at the woman now sitting in the chair and saw that 
it was Cindy. 

"Cindy," said a curt voice to Pip's left.  She looked around and saw 
Eloise standing up in the middle of the bench beside her.  Her 
papers were written, her mid-terms completed, she looked fit and 
alert.  "You have been brought from the FAQ dungeon to present 
evidence to the Moderators.  You have given us to understand that 
you have important information for us."

Cindy straightened herself as best she could, tightly bound to the 
chair.

"I have," she said, and although her voice was very scared, Pip 
could still hear the familiar unctuous note in it.  "I wish to be of 
use to the Moderators.  I -- I know the Moderators are trying to -– 
to recruit more list members to catalogue for the FAQ group.  I am 
eager to assist in any way I can . . . . "

There was a murmur around the benches.  Then Pip heard, quite 
distinctly from Lexicon Steve's other side, a familiar, growling 
voice saying, "Slacker."

Pip leaned forward so that she could see past Steve.  Elkins was 
sitting there –- except there was a noticeable difference in her 
appearance.  She no longer had an iron lung, but two normal ones.  
She looked down upon Cindy with intense dislike, breathing noisily.

"Eloise is going to let her out of cataloguing," Elkins wheezed 
quietly to Steve.  "She's done a deal with her.  Took me six months 
to teach her to catalogue, and Eloise is going to let her out of 
cataloguing if she's got enough new listmember e-mails.  Let's hear 
her information, I say, and throw her straight back into 
cataloguing."

Steve made a small noise of dissent through his long and canonically 
pure website.

"Ah, but I was forgetting . . . you don't like cataloguing, do you 
Steve?" said Elkins with a twisted smile.

"No," said Steve calmly, "I'm afraid I don't.  I have long felt the 
Moderators were wrong to force list members to catalogue."

"But for slackers like this . . . " Elkins hissed.

"You say you have list member e-mails for us, Cindy," said 
Eloise.  "Let us hear them, please."

"You must understand," said Cindy hurriedly, "that Yahoomort 
operated always in the greatest secrecy . . . It preferred that we 
never knew the e-mails of other list members.  Yahoomort alone knew 
exactly who we all were –-"

"Which was a wise move, wasn't it, as it prevented someone like you, 
Cindy, from spamming them," sputtered Elkins.

"These e-mails are?" said Eloise sharply.

Cindy drew a deep breath.

"Pbnesbit at msn.com," she said.  "I – I saw her do countless link 
checks."

"And never helped her do them," breathed Elkins.

"We have already apprehended Parker," said Eloise.  "She was 
captured shortly after you were."

"Indeed?" said Cindy, her eyes widening.  "I—I am delighted to hear 
it!"

But she didn't look it.  Pip could tell that this news had come as a 
real blow to her.  One of her e-mails was worthless.

"Any others?" said Eloise coldly.

"Why, yes . . . there was moongirlk at yahoo.com," Cindy said 
hurriedly.  "Kimberly!"

"Kimberly's hard drive is dead," said Eloise.  "She was caught 
shortly after you were too.  She preferred to re-boot rather than 
upload, and her hard drive was killed in the struggle."

"Took a bit of my soul with her, too," whispered Elkins.  Pip saw 
her indicating the large chunk missing from the cataloguing database.

"No -– no more than Hewlett Packard deserved!" said Cindy, a real 
note of panic in her voice now.  

"Any more?" said Eloise.

"Yes!" said Cindy.  "There was Ali at zymurgy.org, -- her ISP is down!  
Elfundeb at comcast.net -– she specialized in tax law –- forced 
countless people to pay horrific levies!  Neilward at dircon.com.uk, 
who was a spy, passed the Moderators useful information from inside 
the Tower itself!"

Pip could tell that, this time, Cindy had struck gold.  The watching 
crowd was all murmuring together.

"Neil?" said Eloise, nodding to a FAQer sitting in front of her, who 
began tapping on her keyboard.  "Flying Ford Anglia, from the 
Mechanimagus Department?"

"The very same," said Cindy eagerly.  "I believe he used a network 
of well-placed FAQers, both inside the Tower and out, to collect e-
mails –- "

"But Ali and Debbie we have," said Eloise.  "Very well, Cindy, if 
that is all, you will be returned to the FAQ dungeon while we 
decide –- "

"Not yet!" cried Cindy, looking quite desperate.  "Wait, I have 
more.  Porphyria at mindspring.com!" she shouted.  "Porphyria 
Ashenden!" 

"Porphyria has been excused from cataloguing," said Eloise 
disdainfully.  "She has been vouched for by Steve."

"No!" shouted Cindy, straining at the chains that bound her to the 
chair.  "I assure you!  Porphyria is a cataloguer!"

Steve got to his feet.

"I have given evidence on this matter," he said calmly.  "Porphyria 
Ashenden was indeed once a cataloguer.  However, she became a 
webmistress and began coding for us, at great personal cost.  She is 
no more a cataloguer than I am."

"Very well, Cindy," said Eloise coldly, "you have been of 
assistance.  I shall review your case.  You will return to 
cataloging in the meantime. . . ."  The FAQ list dissolved in a 
swirl of color, and Cindy found herself facing a swaying mountain of 
700 more high-quality messages, each needing several rows for 
multiple key words and lengthy, detailed descriptions . . . .

**********

Cindy