[HPFGU-Catalogue] Re: Granger Progress Report, etc

[Sean Dwyer]

On Thu, Feb 24, 2005 at 08:20:19PM -0000, CarolynWhite2 wrote:

> <snip allegations of dozing by senior members of staff>

I submit as evidence the fluffy teddy, the hot water bottle, and the
toothbrush on the desk. And there are a suspicious number of pillows around
for a Catalogue office. Next you'll be claiming the glow-in-the-dark Snape up
there on the shelf isn't a nightlight.

> Brisk note from the Editor in Chief re drinking on the job:
> 
> MEMO
> Alcohol, though near essential for even contemplating this task is 
> not recommended when approaching any of the under-age characters. Not 
> only will you probably be arrested in the US of A, but you will start 
> to wonder if you even give a damn whether any of them make it to the 
> end of the series. This is a slippery slope, as constantly 
> demonstrated by m'learned friend, counsel for the prosecution, Mr 
> Arrowsmith.

If drunkenly jumping up and down in a paddock with a large group of 17-18yo
students who have never been to a gig before ISN'T a slippery slope then the
Berocca haven't kicked in yet. Old Father William or wot.

> Furthermore, it will cause you to question whether perfectly 
> legitimate, if LOON-like questions really matter. Trust me, there is 
> no question too small or unimportant that a member of HPfGU has not 
> not addressed it at considerable length, with supplementary file 
> submissions, follow-up questions and hysterical counter-argument.

Don't I know it. If Hermione is symbolic of 'all that's wrong with girls
today' then Ron is Young Cro-Magnon 1989. Please JKR, make Ginny interesting
in the next book!

> Even suggesting that old arguments about the character's ages are now 
> supposedly sorted out by JKR's website statements is blasphemous. 
> Besides you are not dealing with that section..or the one on the 
> British school system. Maybe keep a handful of the better written 
> ones in the Hermione section for posterity, but try not to read them 
> too closely, for the sake of your own sanity.

I disengaged Hermione from most of them, a major character has to have some
dignity.

> Suggest hair of the dog and a snooze in the sun - all possible in 
> sunny Oz, although it is snowing here.

A lot of water and lying around going oooooohhh seems to work.

> Have you thought that OD-ing on Weasleys may have driven you to drink 
> in the first place? 

And a good thing too. Why don't they all want to be rock stars and soap
actors? Or successful business-wizards and alumni of the Wizard Science
Academy? Did Charlie and Bill steal all the cool genes in the Weasley pool? So
far we have a junior public servant and a pair of joke-shop proprietors. I'm
convinced they're going to die out.

Oh well. Back to Hermione G and her Moody fixation.

Yours misanthropically
ewe2

-- 
"You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do."