Hello, anyone around?

[dungrollin]

There is a pathetically incompetent loud crack, and a grubby-kneed and 
dung-encrusted figure staggers towards the catalogue office door. She  
spent the previous evening celebrating that fabulous Zidane feller 
with one French acquaintance and an unfortunate preponderance of 
bearded Swiss chaps who didn't really care one way or t'other. And it 
shows. 

It is proving difficult to get the key to go into the keyhole. She 
shifts the key to the other hand and tries again, but there is still a 
problem between key and lock and the relative positions of both. She 
unbends, takes a deep breath to stop the world spinning, peers closely 
at the task, pokes aside some cobwebs and tries again, but with no 
greater success. Defeated, she slumps against the door frame and cries 
feebly "Help. I can't get in."