[HPFGU-Feedback] [HPforGrownups] Re: An Elfly Reminder

[Sherry Gomes]

Random832:
> The problem is not that I got called out for supposedly "insulting"
> you. The problem is that I am _absolutely_ sure that if I'd instead 
> called you a "smart-aleck" (which means the exact same thing) none of 
> this would happened. The presence of a four-letter (ok, three-
> letter) word jumped out at someone, and he/she felt the need to react, 
> despite the lack of a rule against the word "ass". Remember, the elf 
> responding was surprised at the use of the term itself, not at any 
> perceived insult to you or anyone else.

SSSusan/Shorty Elf:
It's a bit awkward to respond to this, because I don't feel that Feedback is
necessarily the place to discuss *specific* procedural issues or instances
[I definitely would not do so if the principal were not the person writing
about it!].  That said, I do want to note that the word/phrase jumped out at
more than one someone in this case.  

Mostly, though, I feel compelled to respond to the portion of Random's
comments which states that he would not have been contacted if "smart aleck"
had been used.  I have no doubt that Random
*absolutely* believes this to be true, but as an elf, I also
*absolutely* do not believe that to be the case.  

Anyway, my point is that "smart ass" *is* a term that has been used without
any problem.  I'm 90% sure I've used it myself when speaking about a
*character.*  There is, however, a difference in speaking of a character and
speaking of a fellow list member with such a term.  
There is also a difference in speaking of a character and speaking of a
fellow list member with the term "smart aleck."  With no indication that the
term is being used in jest, it would be flagged by me as worrisome just as
quickly as "smart ass."  IOW, as Steve suggested in his response, it's not
the term itself; it's the way it's used.

I cannot say that I speak for every single elf and how s/he would respond,
but I can say with certainty that it is not at all a given that a poster
calling another poster a "smart aleck" would not concern the list elves.  



Sherry/Blinky Elf now:

I'm writing mostly as a reader, but also from my role as an elf.  As a
reader, I would be upset to read either term directed at another list
member, though they've often been used in referring to characters.  Pretty
much, I am agreeing with Susan and Steve on this issue.  It isn't the term;
it's the use of the term and to whom.    

Also speaking as a fairly new elf, if I had list reading duty the day the
post came through, I would also have flagged it and discussed it with other
elves, because of the same thing.  I've seen many other lists degenerate
into rounds of chaos and name calling, because people can't tell on the net
how something was meant, experienced plenty of situations of members of
other groups going back and forth calling each other names and insults
escalating.  What might have started in fun can become a serious problem
because of the nature of email discussion.  I've always appreciated the way
the elves kept this list respectful of all members, even while allowing
intense and hot debate!

And for the record, yes, I would have reacted exactly the same way to "smart
alec" or anything else that could be interpreted as derogatory to another
person.  In email, there would have been no way for me to know it was not
meant as an insult.

Sherry, AKA Blinky Elf