[HPFGU-Feedback] Tone of posts (was:Re: The State of the List Questionaire - Oct 2007)

[susiequsie23 at cubfanbudwoman.yahoo.invalid]

> >>Alla:
> <snip>
> I can speak only for myself, not for the team, but to the best of  
> my knowledge nobody is planning on limiting the list from          
> discussing ANY aspects of **the books**, positive OR negative,      
> which both are definitely legitimate, how could they be not?
> <snip>
> What can ruin the pleasure of great discussion for me though is the 
> condescending tone - as in how people that like the books are      
> missing all that REALLY hate filled and bad writing picture of DH  
> and of course JKR being crazy, etc. And I had read posts like that 
> (luckily now not as many).
> <snip>

Betsy Hp:
>>> I'm probably being over-sensitive (I hope!), but since I've been told 
I came across as condescending in the one post I tried my hardest to 
*not* be condescending, I've been second guessing myself a lot.

But I'm one who thinks DH was badly written, displayed a lot of hate, 
and lead me to conclude JKR has more issues than X-Men comics.  
(Okay, maybe not *that* many, but her issues run deep. <g>)  I don't 
aim to condescend to those who enjoyed the books.  I do aim to try 
and work out what went wrong and where.  And I also like to put forth 
my point of view.  But now it sounds like my point of view pings your 
condescention radar.  Does it?

Betsy Hp (a tiny bit worried) <<<


SSSusan:
I can't speak for Alla, but I do believe that her comments were actually prompted by reading what Annemehr had to say, rather than your post to FB?  

At least, I know that I had similar thoughts to Alla's concerning the issue Annemehr raised of "How could people be upset by others' negative reactions to the book?"  I mean that in the sense that, for me, it really isn't usually the *content* of the message that upsets; it's more often the lack of opinion language or the presence of a tone or the sense that "judgments" are implicit in the "negative" post.  

AND, as Alla remarked, it's a phenomenon which works both ways -- it's just as obnoxious to me when someone "devalues" a member who's upset with the book by saying, "If you'll only read it again, you'll see things my way/more positively" as it is when someone says, "How can you read this and NOT feel this??"  It's the focus on the other person and what they "should"/"could"/"ought" to think or feel which has been troublesome for me as a list member.

Siriusly Snapey Susan