[HPFGU-Movie] DVDs and kids

[Sherry Garfio]

--- Severina Amadenna Salem-Snape <onceupona_party at yahoo.ca> wrote:
> 
> Can somebody explain to me why parents are giving their children 
> dvds? I could never understand this when I was in sales and one 
> parent would comment that the toddler would only wreck it. When did 
> parents stop parenting - has the word "no" left parental vocabulary? 
> My parents would have smacked my hand and I would have known no meant 
> no - dvds are not toys people. This always confuses me - I am not 
> saying all parents by the way, but I am sure you know someone like 
> this - the parents I know do not allow their children to play with 
> dvds, and are still not allowed to put them into the player. The most 
> they do are hand the cases to the parents.

I was the one who mentioned wanting to copy a DVD to VHS for my kids, so I
think I should clarify.  I do NOT let my kids play with DVDs as if they were
toys.  I do let my daughter (going on 8) put in her own DVDs, as I consider it
part of her self-sufficiency to do such things for herself.  She has to ask
permission to put in a movie (VHS or DVD), and I limit her television time, but
when she does watch a movie, she puts it in and works the menus and so forth. 
Same with the computer.  Same with making snacks, choosing her own clothes,
etc.

HOWEVER, since I have made the decision to let my kids do some things for
themselves, accidents do happen.  Milk spills, DVDs get scratched.  I don't let
them do things for themselves when there is a potential for injury, but I do
encourage them to stretch.  I'm also trying to teach them the responsibility of
putting things away and taking care of their things, especially fragile things
like DVDs and CDs.  My daughter is getting very good at this; my 5-year-old son
still has a ways to go, so he only gets to handle VHS tapes for now.  It would
be nice to be able to copy a widescreen DVD to VHS for him, which is why I
posed the legal question.

I don't consider it my job as a parent to police their stuff and rescue every
forgotten toy, or to do every little thing for them.  I do consider it my job
as a parent to teach them to be responsible and self-sufficient (within reason
for their ages), and that means taking risks and making mistakes.  With a
toddler, no, I would not let them handle their own DVDs - but with a nearly
8-year-old, you bet.  It's not that the word "no" has left my vocabulary - it's
just that I'm very careful that there's always a "because" behind it (whether
articulated or not).  Too many random "no's" make kids stop listening - I
submit my own childhood as an example.  My kids know I have a reason when I
don't let them do something, and that helps them sort out how the world works
and learn the consequences of their actions.  It also gives them some degree of
control over things they're ready to take control of, gradually and in a safe
way.  I don't know if this is the best way; only time will tell if my kids grow
up to be responsible adults, and even then I can only guess how much of it is
due to my parenting style.  But I will continue to let my daughter handle her
own DVDs, and my son too as soon as he demonstrates a little more
responsibility.

Sherry


=====
"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open."
    -- Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire





		
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