DVDs and kids

[muirnincocan]

INTENTIONALLY UNSNIPPED!
--- In HPFGU-Movie at yahoogroups.com, Sherry Garfio <sgarfio at y...> wrote:
> --- Severina Amadenna Salem-Snape <onceupona_party at y...> wrote:
> > 
> > Can somebody explain to me why parents are giving their children 
> > dvds? I could never understand this when I was in sales and one 
> > parent would comment that the toddler would only wreck it. When did 
> > parents stop parenting - has the word "no" left parental vocabulary? 
> > My parents would have smacked my hand and I would have known no meant 
> > no - dvds are not toys people. This always confuses me - I am not 
> > saying all parents by the way, but I am sure you know someone like 
> > this - the parents I know do not allow their children to play with 
> > dvds, and are still not allowed to put them into the player. The most 
> > they do are hand the cases to the parents.
> 
> I was the one who mentioned wanting to copy a DVD to VHS for my
kids, so I
> think I should clarify.  I do NOT let my kids play with DVDs as if
they were
> toys.  I do let
 my daughter (going on 8) put in her own DVDs, as I consider it
> part of her self-sufficiency to do such things for herself.  She has
to ask
> permission to put in a movie (VHS or DVD), and I limit her
television time, but
> when she does watch a movie, she puts it in and works the menus and
so forth. 
> Same with the computer.  Same with making snacks, choosing her own
clothes,
> etc.
> 
> HOWEVER, since I have made the decision to let my kids do some
things for
> themselves, accidents do happen.  Milk spills, DVDs get scratched. 
I don't let
> them do things for themselves when there is a potential for injury,
but I do
> encourage them to stretch.  I'm also trying to teach them the
responsibility of
> putting things away and taking care of their things, especially
fragile things
> like DVDs and CDs.  My daughter is getting very good at this; my
5-year-old son
> still has a ways to go, so he only gets to handle VHS tapes for now.
 It would
> be nice to be able to copy a widescreen DVD to VHS for him, which is
why I
> posed the legal question.
> 
> I don't consider it my job as a parent to police their stuff and
rescue every
> forgotten toy, or to do every little thing for them.  I do consider
it my job
> as a parent to teach them to be responsible and self-sufficient
(within reason
> for their ages), and that means taking risks and making mistakes. 
With a
> toddler, no, I would not let them handle their own DVDs - but with a
nearly
> 8-year-old, you bet.  It's not that the word "no" has left my
vocabulary - it's
> just that I'm very careful that there's always a "because" behind it
(whether
> articulated or not).  Too many random "no's" make kids stop
listening - I
> submit my own childhood as an example.  My kids know I have a reason
when I
> don't let them do something, and that helps them sort out how the
world works
> and learn the consequences of their actions.  It also gives them
some degree of
> control over things they're ready to take control of, gradually and
in a safe
> way.  I don't know if this is the best way; only time will tell if
my kids grow
> up to be responsible adults, and even then I can only guess how much
of it is
> due to my parenting style.  But I will continue to let my daughter
handle her
> own DVDs, and my son too as soon as he demonstrates a little more
> responsibility.
> 
> Sherry

Thank you so much for voicing this... I had intended to direct my
comments upon this previous posting sooner but due to time constraints
was unable to do so... 

I myself have a 5 and 3 year old... both are brilliant intelligent
children... their vocabularies far exceed many of their much older
cousins... I too believe in helping to teach my children self-reliance
and self-sufficiancy without neglect... 

I personally was offended by Severina's implication that a comment
about a parent saying their toddler would only wreck it was bad
parenting... My son is a monkey... no matter how high I place things,
behind locked doors... some how he has developed a way of reaching
things... Is this bad parenting? Or is this a marauder in training... 

Between my husband and I we have 4 copies of each of the Harry Potter
movies... some in VHS some in DVD... my son personally got his hands
upon CoS wanting to rewatch it... over and over again... He even went
so far as to figure out how to turn on the tv and the DVD player all
while I was in the bathroom... My son at the time was only JUST turned
3 years old... 

What I am trying to say is that not every parent is a bad parent...
and believe it or not in some parts of the US, a slap on the hand is
considered child abuse and subject to having your child taken and put
into a 'more suitable environment'.

I was appauled when a friend of mine had the Police and DCFS called
upon her in a department store when her son had picked up something
from a shelf and she had slapped his hand... What ensued was an
embarassment to her and her family... There was no violence in the
action... but she now is watched... and unfortunately her son who is
now older has 'tried' to get away with things claiming child abuse... 

If I had the ability would I copy a DVD? Yes, I would... I believe
there is a way for it to be transfered onto VHS as well using one of
the ALL in One player/recorders... do I condone Bootlegging??? No... I
believe that bootlegging is a form of theft... but if it is for your
own private use, copying is and should not be punished... 

I honestly believe that children should learn to do for themselves at
a young age and that in all things Love is an important factor... I am
thrilled that my children are able to do things and understand more
then their peers... I am truly blessed by this... 

BTW... my daughters first multisyllabic word was "Wingardium Leviosa"
she was just over 14 months old... so go figure...

Muirnin