[HPFGU-Movie] Re: Cuts and Bruises

[Karen]

On Wednesday, February 1, 2006, at 05:15 PM, nicholas dean wrote:
>
>
> - If someone has objected to something that you have said and you
> feel moved to respond, extreme defensiveness can sound like a guilty
> conscience.
>

I suppose you are referring to me. The problem here is that I see it as 
calling a spade a spade when someone makes ridiculous accusations. 
That's a nice card to call, but there is also an awful lot of cowardice 
in just letting someone say whatever they like about other posters.

- Objections have already been raised to those who either are new to
> the list or who normally lurk and who suddenly appear on the board
> making derogatory comments about other list members. I won't add to
> the objections except to say that Netiquette is like etiquette; if
> you're the new kid on the block, it behoves you to be courteous to
> long-term residents.

Again I suppose you mean me. It's free forum and I didn't feel that I 
was saying anything in trying to point out the fallacies of the 
accusation. If there is some time requirement to respond just what is 
the magic number? Honestly, what amazes me most is that I've been 
interested in discussing *the movies*, the soundtrack etc. and it took 
until now for people to even consider responding to those.  Where is 
your response on those threads?

>
> On the original subject in question, my opinion is that these
> comments are just not appropriate in a public forum. My eldest boy is
> twelve years old, and I would not like to read such remarks about him
> now or in four years' time.

I don't believe ANYone was referring to a 12 y.o. but a 15-16  y.o. and 
the fact is, he's handsome as Harry. You are going to have a fit if 
someone tells you that your 15 y.o. boy is really getting to be a 
looker (which, find me ONE of those posts that said anything BUT that)? 
Good lord I can remember hearing comments like that to my folks or even 
to me from family friends and no one was attacking me or luring me off 
behind a building.  I can, however, tell you many a comment that a 15 
y.o. BOY said to me that made me highly uncomfortable. Go back and read 
Steve's post which made a heck of a lot more sense. I suppose you think 
we are jumping out of bushes at young men too.  "Come heeere little 
boy". The reason I'm responding to this stuff is because it's over 
sensitivity such as the original accuser started on that detracts from 
REAL problems.To me it's just like the sudden taboo of wishing someone 
Merry Christmas. Outrageous worry of political correctness.  If you 
agree that saying "oo, he looks rugged" or my comment of "that is such 
a man moment" or let's see, I believe someone said their heart went 
pitterpat (yeah, that's really sexual there) are so unseemly I can't 
imagine the reality you folks live in.   I'm not a psychologist, but I 
actually have met a pedophile and he didn't talk like that, believe me. 
The red flags that guy sent up were frightening to even an adult woman. 
  I really, really find it hard to believe that the comments in that 
thread are "red flags".

> I do not pass judgement on anyone for
> making the comments,

I believe you just have with this post.

> and I recognise the principle of freedom of
> speech, but there are limits as to what ought to be said. It is
> particularly difficult in such a public medium as the Internet to
> know how your remarks will be interpreted...or misinterpreted...by
> your readers. It is easy to be deceived into thinking that, because
> we share a common interest on the list, that we also have similar
> life experiences; but a remark which is innocuous for a happy,
> well-adjusted person may be devastating for someone with a more
> unfortunate past. Discretion is always the best policy.

Oh, it's ok for you to dictate what we should or should not say or for 
her to cast a pretty grievous accusation onto others, but for me to 
point out that she over reacted is taboo. That's interesting.  Once 
again, find a post that said anything more than admiration or indicated 
some kind of evil intent when she posted her complaint.

>
> No, it would not be acceptable for the men on the list to start
> making similar comments about any of the young actresses.

Again, go back and read the posts up to that comment.
>
> And no, you were not talking about Harry Potter, you were talking
> about Dan Radcliffe, and there's a difference.

Sorry, I've seen Dan in interviews and he is very nice and very giddy 
and not appealing like Harry is.  We were talking about a movie 
character.  I'm now bowing out of this thread forever but it would sure 
be nice if people decided to actually post to the discussions I've 
posted that I really AM interested in like what do you think will be in 
OoTP or what will be cut, what would make sense to keep or how GoF was 
handled or perhaps post on my comments in the soundtrack thread. I 
might believe you are more interested in the subject of the list then 
overreacting to the palpitations of we middle aged ladies.

Sorry elves. Please let me know if you want me to leave the list 
because I chose to defend what was a completely innocent thread. I'm 
not sorry for being offended that criminal accusations were being 
thrown around. This has gone on too long and it probably IS my fault 
but I get really angry when people suggest I'm some kind of child 
stealer.  (and to the British lady who posted earlier, NO not ALL 
Americans - probably not even a few Americans- considered that fodder 
pedophilia.)