[HPFGU-Movie] Re: Cuts and Bruises

Candle silverstreams at sbcglobal.net
Thu Feb 2 04:49:20 UTC 2006


  Dear Nicholas,
   
  I think that you said this very elequently. I am sorry that I called names. You are right. I should not have done that. Your empathy for others is wonderful. You are really able to see both sides of a disagreement. 
   
  It was nice to know that I was not the only one feeling uncomfortable about the thread. I agree with you that silence can seem like condoning. 
   
  I joined this list because I find the Harry Potter books and movies wonderful and fascinating. RKR has a great way of captivating the imagination. I am quite a fan of hers. 
  

nicholas dean <nicholas at adelanta.co.uk> wrote:
  I too have been trying to stay out of this, but silence can be 
interpreted as ambivalence or acquiescence,  so I'll say my piece.

A few quiet words about Netiquette:-

- If you object to something which has been said in a public forum 
like this, the mature thing to do is to object to the remarks, not to 
make personal comments about the writer.

- If someone has objected to something that you have said and you 
feel moved to respond, extreme defensiveness can sound like a guilty 
conscience.

- Objections have already been raised to those who either are new to 
the list or who normally lurk and who suddenly appear on the board 
making derogatory comments about other list members. I won't add to 
the objections except to say that Netiquette is like etiquette; if 
you're the new kid on the block, it behoves you to be courteous to 
long-term residents.

On the original subject in question, my opinion is that these 
comments are just not appropriate in a public forum. My eldest boy is 
twelve years old, and I would not like to read such remarks about him 
now or in four years' time. I do not pass judgement on anyone for 
making the comments, and I recognise the principle of freedom of 
speech, but there are limits as to what ought to be said. It is 
particularly difficult in such a public medium as the Internet to 
know how your remarks will be interpreted...or misinterpreted...by 
your readers. It is easy to be deceived into thinking that, because 
we share a common interest on the list, that we also have similar 
life experiences; but a remark which is innocuous for a happy, 
well-adjusted person may be devastating for someone with a more 
unfortunate past. Discretion is always the best policy.

No, it would not be acceptable for the men on the list to start 
making similar comments about any of the young actresses.

And no, you were not talking about Harry Potter, you were talking 
about Dan Radcliffe, and there's a difference.

Cheers,
Nicholas
I am typing this on Tuesday but will wait for a day before sending 
it. I always think it's a good idea not to hit the 'send' button when 
one is upset or angry, don't you?


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Candle 
   
  May there always be a light to guide you.


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