Cuts and Bruises - Netiquette & Knowing When

[Steve]

--- In HPFGU-Movie at yahoogroups.com, nicholas dean <nicholas at ...> wrote:
>
> I too have been trying to stay out of this, but silence can be 
> interpreted as ambivalence or acquiescence,  so I'll say my piece.
> 
> A few quiet words about Netiquette:-
> 
> - If you object to something which has been said in a public 
> forum like this, the mature thing to do is to object to the 
> remarks, not to make personal comments about the writer.
> 
> - If someone has objected to something that you have said and
> you feel moved to respond, extreme defensiveness can sound like
> a guilty conscience.
> 
> - Objections have already been raised to those who either are new to 
> the list or who normally lurk and who suddenly appear on the board 
> making derogatory comments about other list members. ...
> 
> On the original subject in question, my opinion is that these 
> comments are just not appropriate in a public forum. ...edited...
> 
> Cheers,
> Nicholas


bboyminn:

This is not directed at Nicholas, but at the board and the 'Net in
general. 

Another very effective and important 'rule' of Netiquette is knowing
when to walk away. 

In this case, the orginal objector felt uncomfortable by remarks and
was free to place those objections. I may disagree with form, but the
function was certainly valid. Others including myself countered those
objections in a variety of ways. Personally, I tried to establish a
reasonable and balanced perspective. However that does not invalidate
the feeling of the orignial objector; she felt what she felt, and her
feelings are valid by nothing more than the fact that she genuinely
felt them. Most of the rest of us did not feel that way, and those
feelings are equally valid.

However, both side have more than made their point, each side is
firmly entrenched in their view and seem unmovable. Therefore,
continuation of the discussion in the line it is now on can only lead
to problems. Problems like straying from the central point of this
discussion group, personal attacks, overstated opinions fueled by
impressions of hurt feelings, etc..., etc..., etc....

The orginal poster made her objections clear, and we reasonably need
to consider those objections. Others countered with attempts at
balance and perspective, and those opinions need to be considered.
Each side has had their say, and made their position clear. I feel
that any further discussion can only lead down hill, and create ill
and hostile feelings among members.

The subject at hand is movies, tangental discussions are allowed but
there is a limit to how tangental they can become before they need to
move to another forum.

For the sake of good feelings and the camaraderie of all members, I
suggest we move on. 

I see no reason for members NOT to be able to express their admiration
for the beauty of the cast members of the HP movies, but would suggest
that they try to keep it within polite boundaries. Which, by the way,
I personally thought they did.

I see no reason why one member should not be free to express feeling
of uncomfortableness with others expressions of beauty directed at the
cast members. But that person should remember that they are only one
voice among thousands, and shouldn't expect their opinion to dictate
the actions of others; influence-yes, dictate-no.

Further, in expressing ourselves, let's not let hyperbole and
exaggeration take control of our statements. While it is inappropriate
to truly 'lust' after HP cast members, let us also not forget that
they are 16,  17, and 18 years old, and are beyond the age of consent
in the country in which they live. Given this, I would personally
consider accusations of 'pedophilia' to be hyperbole and exaggeration,
and can't blame people for taking offense.

So, in the simplest terms; we've all had our say more than once, and
both side have been clearly expressed, now it is time to let it go and
get back to the central theme of this discussion group.

Just passing it along.

Steve/bboyminn