New Fun Thing: HP and the Chicken Crossing

[Jen Faulkner]

Hey all,

I was struck by inspiration (or boredom -- you make the call *g*) on the
train on my way home from school today, and I started to wonder whether
it wouldn't be quite fun for the list to do an HP-themed 'Why Did the
Chicken Cross the Road'? thing.  These are the first few that occurred
to me -- *I* think it would be fun if peeps want to contribute others...
feel free to do other responses from the same characters; the more, the
merrier and all that... :)


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Hermione: Well, honestly!  Haven't any of you read *Hogwarts, A
History*?  If you had, you'd know that the chicken crossed because it
couldn't Apparate within school grounds!

Sirius: The chicken didn't really cross.  He switched places with the
rat at the last minute, and nobody knew about it -- and so the chicken
was wrongly imprisoned for crossing the road.

Dobby: Oh, Dobby cannot tell you, sir!  No, Dobby must not say!  Bad
Dobby!

Norbert: Mmm, chicken.  *crunch*

Ronan: Pollux was in ascendance; the chicken's crossing was foretold in
the stars.

Fleur: Zis chicken, 'e could not stay any longer in such a 'orrible
place, and 'e 'ad to cross ze road.

Lucius: The chicken was under the influence of the Imperious curse; he
was forced to cross the road.

Crabbe and Goyle: Uhn... uhn...

Voldemort: By crossing the road, the chicken has left our number
forever, and he will pay with his life.

Trelawney: I see... yes...  ah, the chicken will not be with us for much
longer if he crosses the road...

H/Rers: It's obvious that the chicken'll cross the road.  Look how
jealous the road was when the chicken crossed a bridge.

H/Hers: No one's disputing that the road likes the chicken, but the
chicken's feelings are unclear.  We think she likes the owl.

Slash fen: It was really another rooster that the chicken was looking
for!  He never crossed the road, or if he did, it was just to cover up
his confused feelings for that fine-lookin' rooster in the leather
pants.

Nancy Stouffer: in my book there was a DUCK, just like rowlings
chikcen.  and DRIVING ON A ROAD

JKR: Why does everyone always ask if the the chicken's going to cross
the road?  Isn't anyone concerned that the *sheep* might cross?

Sooooo...  anyone else?

--jen :)

* * * * * * 
Jen's HP fics:
http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~jfaulkne/hp.html
Snapeslash listmom: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/snapeslash
Yes, I *am* the Deictrix.