Arrgh - Why are weddings so stressfull ?

[Michelle Apostolides]

OK, here is my situation.

At University, I had two really close friends, one girl and one boy. We
all studied one subject the same but the girl did a different second
subject from me and the boy. We spent a lot of time together and I
always thought that the three of us would always be close.

However as the years have gone by, me and the other girl are as close as
sisters ( I don't know what having as sister is like and neither does
she but I think we're as near as dammit ) and we speak on the phone
quite often and we see each other two or three times a year, sometimes
less sometimes more. But we always know what's going on in each others
lives and we are always there for each other.

The boy on he other hand does not call either of us and only sends
perfunctory Christmas and Birthday cards. I only know what he is up to
because I call him once in a while - filling in my girlfriend
afterwards.

Now the girl is getting married to the most wonderful man who I love as
I love my family. However, the boy who we were friends with has upset my
girlfriend and fiancee to the point that they nearly disinvited him. How
so ? Because he wrote on the acceptance - only sent after he got a call
after he got a note with his birthday card asking him to confirm or
decline his invite - Had there been an RSVP date (or something of that
ilk) I would have let you know. Now, that is a very formal way of
putting it - my friends felt that he was begrudgingly saying yes.

I was concerned that if they disinvited him, it would be something my
girlfriend would regret in later years, so I said think carefully before
you take such a step. Now I just got a call saying they wouldn't do that
for my sake. Now I feel like I stopped them doing something they needed
to do.

I haven't spoken to my man friend in all of this but I feel pretty cross
with him for upsetting two people I love so much.  Has anyone out there
been in a similar position before ?

I suppose that I should add that I'm a bit more involved because I'm
going to be my friend's only adult bridesmaid on the day.

Michelle