Ebony's Adventures in Wonderland/Neil Through The Looking Glass

[Neil Ward]

Ebony said, among accounts of other hilarious adventures in England:

<<This is because this area of the market looks almost nothing like its
American counterpart.  There are four kinds of detergent-- "biological",
"non-biological", "performance", and "colour".  Two kinds of bleach, thick
and something else... I think it's thin, but I can't remember now.  No
fabric softener sheets.  No liquid detergent,  whereas at home a slight
majority of washing soap's liquid.>>

That sounds like a fairly modest selection of clothes-washing products, but
we are talking Oxford and not London, so perhaps the more entertaining soap
detergents haven't made it there yet.  You should be able to buy liquid
detergent in plastic bottles and pouches, as well as boxed powder, tablets
or capsules (containing liquid) for most of the main brands.   Fabric
softener sheets: you need to look for Bounce or supermarket own brands for
those, but liquid brands are more popular here.  For whitening clothes, you
could try Glo-White, which resembles large teabags (you stick them in the
drum with the clothes).  Failing that, you could find a babbling brook and
bash the clothes to kingdom come with some rocks.

I can sympathise, Ebony.  When I've been in the States or any other country,
I've faced similar dilemmas in supermarkets and shops.  It's hard not to
look completely flummoxed by the household products and even the vegetables.
I once bought what I thought was half-fat milk in Copenhagen, only to
discover, when I took a hearty swig from the carton, that it was soured
milk.  They drink that stuff in Denmark!  I sprayed the hotel room with it.

I've just returned from a trip to Amsterdam.  On my way back, I had three
hours to kill at Schiphol Airport, so I decided to have a meal in the
Brasserie there.  The vegetarian options weren't vast, so I ordered the one
starter and the one main course and held my breath.  (Had I been a fish
eater, I might have been tempted by the "Tropical Fish Salad", if only to
see if it was a salad of colourful and very expensive fish, or just a piece
of cod with a pineapple on top).

Anyway, I ate an "interesting" starter of a whole goat's cheese coated in
almonds, sitting on a bed of alfalfa sprouts and surrounded by prunes, with
a maple syrup dressing (yes, you may shudder).  The main course was equally
challenging: plain, unsalted pasta with a side order of buttered red peppers
hiding under three huge battered aubergine (eggplant) slices.  The whole
shebang was sprinkled with something like tomato sauce, but not quite like
it...

I didn't ask for the recipes.

Neil (looking forward to pulling a cracker with Ebony on Sunday)