Changing your looks

meboriqua at aol.com meboriqua at aol.com
Thu Jun 14 21:41:13 UTC 2001


--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Amy Z" <aiz24 at h...> wrote:
  Yes, you can definitely try out other looks without 
> being motivated by a dislike of the way you look now, or a desire 
for 
> more acceptance/praise.  Hermione's attitude seems to come very 
close 
> to this.


Hello -

This is my first post on the OT list.  This is a topic that I could 
talk about all day, so please bear with me while I try to express 
myself, especially without offending anyone.  

Whenever people talk about beauty, one of the biggest things (no pun 
intended here) to come up is weight.  Weight is something I deal with 
daily, as mine has gone up and down several times.  I am also in an 
unusual situation because I am caught between two worlds who view 
weight very differently.

I grew up in the suburbs where being skinny was the key to popularity 
and beauty.  A good friend of mine was anorexic for a time when we 
were in high school.  Even now, when I am with my family, or with my 
sister and her friends, I am, by far, the heaviest female in the 
group.  I am acutely aware of this and often physically uncomfortable 
with myself because of it.  My sister is around a size 4.  However, 
when I go to work in the Bronx, I am complimented all the time on my 
body.  My students ask me why I want to lose weight.  Why is that?  
It's simple.  When I go to work, everyone around me is African 
American and Latino, where voluptuous women, not sticks, are 
considered beautiful.  I have been told many times by both students 
and colleagues that I have a big butt for a white girl - and they mean 
that with envy and compliments!

It's weird when I am with my family now because everyone is fat free 
and exercise-happy.  Even though I love my family, I feel less 
attractive around them than I do when I am at school.  Now, purely 
from a health perspective, I should watch my diet and exercise more, 
but when I spend so much time around other women with a lot of meat on 
their bones, it's hard to care.  

As far as men go, I get a lot of attention from African American and 
Latino men (my boyfriend happens to be Puerto Rican), but when I 
started to gain weight a few years ago, white men stopped staring at 
me the way they used to.  My point is, isn't it interesting how beauty 
has different definitions in different cultures?  I used to dream of 
being skinny-skinny, but now, as much as I love my sister, she is just 
too damned thin for my tastes.  

Wow, that was a lot!

--jenny from ravenclaw*******************





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