Confessions of a Stepford wife (was Names)

[Amy Z]

Amanda, who has never struck me as the Stepford wife type, wrote:
 
> And to be honest, I like being someone's wife. Publicly. Someone I 
love
> chose me! Forever! I want people to know. Damn straight I'll carry 
his
> name, and go by "Mrs."; my pride in it equals his humility in 
offering
> it. 

Yeah, I like that too.  I just wish there were a way for both people 
to do that.  That's why I like it when both people hyphenate their 
names--that's so lovely:  to take on a piece of each other's 
identities.  Still, my dh and I could've done that and chose not to.  
Maybe if we have kids.

And I still think it would be really nice if men changed their titles 
upon marrying.  Anyone want to coin a Married Mr.?

> The point is that I hardly 
ever
> hear anyone speaking about taking their husband's name as anything 
but
> an antiquated imposition.

How come even though I live in the supposedly ultraliberal Northeast 
and you live in supposedly ultra-reactionary Texas, I know almost 
nobody who speaks about it this way?  For that matter, I know almost 
no married women who did anything other than take their husband's 
name.  Those who hyphenate, keep their maiden names, or do anything 
like that are very much in the minority and seem to be likely to 
remain so for a long time.

Carole wrote:

> I took my 
> husband's last name for 3 reasons.  1) I was never fond of my maiden 
> name (its rather odd, and I got teased a lot about it when I was 
> young)  and 2) it is a whole lot less complicated when you have 
> kids.  My sister changed her last name after a divorce, has since 
> remarried (twice) but kept her "purchased" last name (went through 
> the whloe court thing) "I paid good money for this name, I'll be 
> damned if I'm going to change it now"  and 3)I got to move up in the 
> alphabet..from S to E.  I don't have to wait as long for my name to 
> be called!

LOL!  Shortly before I got married, my brothers-in-law-to-be sat me 
down and said "Are you planning to change your name?"  I wasn't sure 
what the right answer was, but I said, "Uh, no, actually, wasn't 
planning on it."  They said "GOOD!" and proceeded to tell me all the 
reasons why no one should be cursed with their last name unless he/she 
was unfortunate enough to be born with it.  The primary one was that 
it rhymes with all sorts of unfortunate things that get you ridiculed 
on the playground (I wonder if they'd endorse our giving our kids my 
last name on that logic?).  That wasn't my reasoning, but it was 
pretty funny.

My name is no beauty, and I came in for my share of teasing based on 
it too, but I can't say I've ever minded being low on the list 
alphabetically.  I suppose when you're an S you're just low on the 
list, but when you're a Z you're gloriously, distinctively last.  Plus 
it's kind of nifty having the initials AZ.

AZ