[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Birthdays and such...

[Sheryll Townsend]

--- Doreen Rich <nera at rconnect.com> wrote:
> When we first started dating we would always
> celebrate with a picnic (we used to live near a huge
> park) and he would always bring a 2 layer carrot
> cake
> with cream cheese frosting
> 
> Sheryll
> ***************
> What about doing your cake & celebration early, when
> he has the time? 
> Tell him how you used to love it when you did so ...
> ask if you can 
> do it again before he leaves. Or ... buy a cake and
> invite him on a 
> picnic .. or bake it yourself.

I like this, I'll bake the cake and he'll be really
happy not to have to do something he does every day
(he isn't the only one at home who bakes, but the fun
wears off when it's your job, too).
> 
> I used to be really bad about "wishing that my
> husband would do this 
> or do that.." I was too stubborn to just tell him
> how I felt or just 
> ask him if he would. I thought that if he cared
> about me the way I 
> cared about him, he would just somehow *know* these
> things ... I 
> think a lot of women have these romantic notions and
> think their men 
> have them too. Well, I have learned, over the years,
> that there are 
> usually (notice I said usually....don't want to
> include those 
> thoughtful, romantic men in my statement...they ARE
> out there)only 
> two things on men's minds: sex or sports, not
> necessarily in that 
> order.

I really chuckled at this. He's definitely not a huge
sports fan, in fact he only watches the hockey
play-offs. Then again, he probably only watches those
because Nyssa and I are huge hockey fans and watch all
the games! We're the ones checking the paper in the
mornings for the scores of games we missed and arguing
about who's team is going to go farther.
> 
> My dad was one of the most wonderful men in the
> world... good 
> husband, good father, good provider, yada, yada,
> yada. But, he was 
> terrible at remembering birthdays and such. I used
> to have to help 
> him. I would circle my mom's birthday in big red on
> the calender. I 
> left notes to my dad on his car visor. One time,
> just knowing that he 
> had forgotten my mom's birthday, I sent her roses
> *from him* and got 
> us BOTH in trouble! I signed the card, "Love, Duane"
> and he had 
> always signed it "love Duey" Plus, he walked into
> the house and 
> asked, "Who are the flowers from?" (I didn't catch
> him in time to 
> tell him...I was driving down their hill as he was
> driving up their 
> hill, on his way to get her something *from* him)

Sounds like my dad. He usually gets the birthday
gifts, but not until he badgers her to death finding
out exactly what to get. Mothers Day is fun, he always
says 'She's not my mother', but I don't think he sends
his mother anything, either (though Mom sends his
mother something!).
> 
> I guess, with all this rambling, I am just saying,
> "TALK to him. TELL 
> him how you feel" ... otherwise, he is going to go
> about his business 
> thinking all is well, while you are in the bedroom
> all teary over his 
> forgetfulness and inconsiderations.
> 
> Doreen, been there, done that, made a mess of it.
> 
Oh, I tell him. It's just such a busy time, with him
closing up one kitchen and moving on the the summer
job and me gearing up for our festival. We're lucky we
find time to see each other at all. Once, when I was
working evenings and he was on a rotating shift at
work, we would have 2 weeks of every 6 where the only
time we saw each other was at the bus stop, him coming
home, me going to work.

Sheryll, trying not to keep making a mess of it

=====
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

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