Dating/Marriage

[catherine at cator-manor.demon.co.uk]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., Amber <reanna20 at y...> wrote:
> 
> Brought this over from the HP4GU list because I had something to say
> about it...
> 
> > --- meckelburg at f... wrote:
> > I entered my lifetime relationship with 18!!
> 
> > --- Barbara Purdom <blpurdom at y...> wrote:
> > I entered mine at 19, married at 24 and we were told
> > then that it was about time!  (That was 13 years ago.)
> 
> Wow. Honestly, this amazes me. I couldn't imagine at the ages of 18,
> 19, 20 finding my life companion. Perhaps that's because I didn't 
have
> a clue who *I* was at that age. Hell, I *still* have no clue who I 
am. 
> 
> Question to all: Did you know right away that you had met 
the "Person
> of Your Dreams"? How long before you knew?
> 
> I must also confess, people who marry young (ages between 16 and 21)
> have amazed me as well. I have a couple friends who have married/are
> marrying at age 21. When I ask them about it, they simply say that 
they
> can't wait any longer! <sigh> Ay, young love, such a giddy thing...
> 
> ~Amber

I was debating whether to reply to this or not, as it is quite 
personal, but as some others have been so forthcoming...

I met my husband when I was 24.  At the time, he was 49, so there is 
a 25 year gap between us.  Because of this, I resisted dating him for 
a few months - I just couldn't see myself with someone of his age, 
even though most of my previous boyfriends had been a bit older.  
However, he turned up in my office one day, offered to walk me down 
to Charing Cross Station, and persuaded me to have a drink on the 
way.  The drink lead to dinner, and over dinner, something just 
clicked.  I think we both knew that that was it - we have been 
together ever since, and we got married last December, close to our 4 
year anniversary.

The age difference has caused problems.  Not between us, but with our 
families.  When I finally told my father about it, he took to his bed 
for a massive 3-day sulk, before deciding that he had to meet 
Mickey.  They got on brilliantly right from the start and still do.  
(My father's biggest problem was that Mickey is 6 months older than 
him).

It was much harder with Mickey's family.  He has two children by a 
marriage which ended 10 years ago.  They are in their 30s, and are 5 
and 7 years older than me.  His daughter also has 2 children - so I 
became a step-grandmother at the ripe old age of 28.  However, we all 
get on now.  His daughter is probably one of my closest friends.  
However, his sister refuses to speak to us, because he refused to 
take her advice and end our relationship - she insists that the only 
reason I could want to be with someone Mickey's age is because I am a 
gold digger.

I have let various family annoyances etc. get me down before - until 
I realised that Mickey and I are lucky, in that the only problems we 
have ever had are due to external issues, such as family, rather than 
internal issues, between ourselves.  There are obviously 
complications - whether to have children or not being the biggest 
one - but I can honestly say that he is the only man I have ever been 
able to consider living with and marrying.  Besides the fact that I 
love him dearly, we are very compatible - and I don't think that 
we've had more than 3 or 4 raised voice arguments in the whole time 
we have been together.  He's also just started to read HP on the 
train to work in the morning - what more could I ask for?!

Catherine