Dishes (was: Re: guys being asked to help)

[lupinesque]

Sheryll wrote:

> Wipe the stovetop as well? Can I quote you on that
> one? <vbg>

<snip>

> Btw, the dishes thing is my big one because Andy has
> one habit when doing them that annoys me to no end.
> I've mentioned it to him, but that didn't seem to get
> through. When he has an order for a cake, he will wash
> up after he bakes. However, if there are any other
> dirty dishes in the kitchen he leaves them for me.
> I've seen him remove a couple of plates and glasses
> from the sink so he has room to wash his baking stuff,
> then put them back in the sink when he's done and just
> leave them there. Hello? 

You know, I don't think quoting me on the stove is going to have much 
effect, somehow.

Things seems to go most smoothly in our household when the division of 
labor is clear.  If we tried to split the dishes 50/50, or each clean 
up after our own cooking, it would never work--we'd always be fussing 
over what's 50/50 and what to do about the few shared meals we have.  
And the "whoever cooks doesn't wash up" rule, which works great 
in lots of families, would be disaster for ours, because I cook much 
more elaborately and dh would probably rebel against cleaning all 
those dishes (I think he decides what to make for himself for dinner 
based on what will dirty the fewest dishes).  

What *does* work well for us is that the dishes are my job.  Period.  
I like doing dishes (compared to most household chores, that is) and 
there are other tasks that I hate that are 100% dh's responsibility.  
We even had a recent spurt of "let's keep the house clean" where we 
listed all the chores, estimated how long each takes, and divvied them 
up according to preference and other factors--e.g. the good laundromat 
is in the town he works in, the good mechanic's in the town I work in, 
so he's in charge of laundry and I'm in charge of car maintenance.  I 
took a slightly heavier load because I work 3/4 time and dh works 
full-time.

So far so good in terms of equity, but the house isn't much cleaner, 
and darn it, I've got to get the summer tires put on today, don't I?

Amy
getting offline to go do that