Dishes (was: Re: guys being asked to help)

[ladylprekaun]

I "had" to weigh in on the dishes, because that's been my problem 
several times in the past (in different family situations). In my 
experience, the only way to get people to see reason (like that 
dishes don't do themselves) is to take drastic measures -- plus I 
find that having people think I'm "crazy" works in my favor in other 
instances.

Once, when living with a husband and teenage stepson (I'm no longer 
with them, but the dishes had nothing to do with it :^D), I kept 
having problems with dishes. I mean problems like nobody but me 
doing the dishes and the cooking. I tried talking to the offenders 
(my family)about the problem, but that didn't help. So, I quit 
washing the dishes. I ended up with the dishwasher full, sinks full, 
no clean dishes in the cabinets -- and nobody getting the idea that 
something should be done about that. A person who needed a plate 
washed 1, and so on until I cleaned up again.

It occurred to me that I was contributing to the problem by washing 
pots and cooking, so I quit. Assuming that if I was the only one 
cooking and cleaning, I must be the only one who wanted to eat, I 
began cooking single-portion meals. I cooked full meals -- complete 
with wonderful aroma wafting through the kitchen and down the halls -
- and ate them myself, letting other folks fend for themselves 
(without pots which I took out of the kitchen and put away). After 
about a week of cereal and lunchmeat, they got the idea, apologized, 
and offered to pitch in. 

The dishes were harder, though, until I labeled them. If you've got 
a dish problem, I highly recommend this. Take all of the plates, 
bowls, cups, and glasses out of your kitchen cabinets, leaving 1 for 
each member of the family (works best if nobody but you knows where 
they're stored). I tried leaving it at this step, but you end up 
with cheaters -- folks who'll use whatever isn't dirty, even 
if "theirs" is in the sink. Get yourself one of those handy paint 
pens that mark on dishes (I used nail polish - works just as well). 
Write the initial or name of each family member on the underside of 
his/her dishes. People are only allowed to use their own and are 
responsible for keeping them clean. That way, if there are dirty 
dishes in the sink, you know who left them there.

If you have teens, this could be a good incentive. If they keep the 
dishes/kitchen clean for x amount of time, they get to use unlabeled 
plates when they have company (so they don't have to explain to 
their friends that their dishes are labeled because they were too 
lazy to wash them). An alternate scenario might be a teen 
saying, "Man, I can't do X. I didn't wash the dishes, and my mom 
took all the dishes out of the kitchen. I don't even want to think 
about what she would do if I did X."

Now I'm working on the leftover problem. Nobody cleans out the 
fridge but me. I've even letting that go to see if anybody got the 
message, but once the fridge started inching towards the trash can, 
I figured I couldn't wait any longer. I'm still looking for a 
solution to that one. I am also considering putting all leftovers 
into plastic bags. My problem, people taking the last of whatever 
leftover drop the empty plastic storage container in the sink. 
People taking leftovers for lunches take them in handy plastic 
storage containers - which they bring home empty and deposit -- want 
to guess where? I'm still working on that one. The self-cleaning 
container and the autowashing sink spells haven't worked out, and 
replicator technology is still too far off. Ideas are welcome. :^)

Magically yours,
Lady Leprechaun