Partner suitability (would be SHIP on main list)

[davewitley]

On the main list, Gwendolyn Grace wrote:

>Human beings, rightly or wrongly, frequently are attracted to the 
kind of
person who is exactly the worst match. 

and

>I want to remind you I really like Ron. I think he's
a cool kid. But I think he has a lot of growing up to do, still, and 
I don't
think he'll ever really measure up to the tall order Hermione has
constructed.

and

>I do agree that, like I outlined for Hermione, men are not immune to
choosing partners who aren't good for them.

The question of whether Ron would be 'good for' or 'suited to' 
Hermione comes up fairly frequently on the main list.  It always 
bothers me.

Perhaps I am pessimistic, but I think the best you can ever do is get 
someone who will be committed to you.  If you don't have that, things 
like an amenable character or intellectual compatibility are not 
worth very much.  If you do have it, then they might be nice, but my 
belief is that over time pretty well any two people who are partners 
will find things deeply rooted in their personalities that, when they 
come to light, will make them question very seriously whether their 
relationship is the biggest mistake they made in their lives.

So I just don't believe you can say two people are suited or good for 
one another by virtue of their talents or even their personalities.

I think I must be a bit of a Dumbledorean -  suppose I am saying that 
your choices in the (inevitable) difficult times are what count, and 
the most important thing to assess in a potential partner is how you 
think they will choose: for you or for something else.

David