Fw: Texans

[Amanda]

And this was funny, and largely true, and I wished to commemorate somehow
the fixing of my computer and my return to The World (albeit without all my
old email files containing, among other things, some distilled wisdom from
the HP lists).

--Amanda


----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2002 9:42 AM
Subject: Texans


> ---------------------- Forwarded by Greg B. Jones/USA/BAC on 01/25/2002
> 10:26 AM ---------------------------
> For the Former Texans...Wanna-Be-Texans...and I'm HERE in Texas Texans...
> FACTS ABOUT TEXAS
>
> Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
> Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
>
> There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>
> There are 10,000 types of spiders.  10,001 live in Texas.
>
> Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.
>
> Racoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
>
> If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>
> Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
> There are valid reasons some people put constatine wire around their
house.
>
> You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
>
> A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle.  They do get stuck.  Ask Tom
> Zander!
>
> Texas has 5 seasons (Summer twice):
>    Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
>    Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>    Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
>    Summer, Sept.  11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>    Fall, Oct 2 to Dec.  1
>    Winter Dec.  2 to Feb 15
> The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct.  2 until July 15, then it stops
totally.
>
> Onced and Twiced are words.
>
> It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
>
> Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>
> Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
>
> Coldbeer is one word.
>
> People actually grow and eat Okra.
>
> Texans really don't have an accent.
>
> When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
>
> Green grass DOES burn.
>
> When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog.  City people
drop
> them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
>
> The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
couple
> of weeks.
>
> When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the
> doctor.
>
> Fixinto is one word.
>
> A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
>
> Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.
>
> You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
>
> You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
>
> Texans will laugh harder at this than anyone else because they all KNOW
> these
> facts are true!!
>
>