Sexism -- is division of labor the key?

[naamagatus]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "jenny_ravenclaw" <meboriqua at a...> wrote:
> --- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "judyserenity" <judyshapiro at e...> 
wrote:
> 
> > My concern is that if one woman leaves an abusive man, he's just 
> going to look for a new woman to abuse.  And if that woman leaves, 
> there will be nothing stopping him from trying to find a third 
>woman to abuse. Solving the problem of abuse requires sanctions on 
>abusers (which could be social disapproval, jail, or various other 
>things.) Saying, "The victim should leave" doesn't fix the 
underlying problem. 
> 

<snip>
> This paragraph, however, jumped out at me and raised my feminist 
> hackles so I had to jump in.  I think Judy's comments here were 
right on, but I wanted to add some of my own.
> 
> In our society (and probably in many others, but I can't really 
> comment on societies I am not familiar with), women are constantly 
> blamed for things that are not their fault: what few reported rapes 
> end up in trial often end up with the woman's sexual history being 
> questioned and the accuser walking free.  Women are expected to 
>know how to defend themselves and to simply walk away from abusers 
>in domestic situations.  Boy, does this make me angry!  Aside from a 
>need for harsher sentences for abusers (men who murder their 
> partners/spouses often serve just a few years in jail, while women 
>who kill their partners/spouses *in self defense* often are 
>sentenced to many years in jail), men simply need to be better 
>educated on how to treat women.  
> 
Since I made the original comment to which Judy replied (I think), I 
feel obliged to clarify my position. I originally asked whether it is 
not true that "domestic violence easier to deal with when the woman 
is capable of earning enough to supporting herself and her children." 
Men need to be better educated on how to treat women, yes, of course. 
Do you suggest that a battered woman sits and waits until her 
husband/boyfriend has a change of heart? I'm sure you don't. A woman 
must be able to dissociate herself from an abusive husband/boyfriend. 
I'm not talking only about leaving him, but also about pressing 
charges against him. If a woman is economically dependent on her 
mate, if she knows that without him she and her children will starve, 
she will remain in an abusive relationship. She will neither take 
steps herself (like leaving him) nor call in the assistence of the 
law. My opinion is that economic independence of women is the first 
necessary step. Only after that is achieved, can anti abuse laws 
really kick in. 
Human nature being what it is, I simply don't believe that educating 
men is any kind of solution. There will always be bullies and 
sadists. There will always be people who take advantage and exploit 
those weaker than them. The only effective way to decrease bullyism 
is to minimise the opportunities for it. In the case of women abuse, 
this means empowering women - through legal *and* economic means. 

And to Judy: Of course, the best thing would be that this abusive man 
was put behind bars. But until he is? You are not seriously 
suggesting that a woman should stay with an abusive man in order to 
save one of her "sisters" from him, are you?! 

Naama