[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Bullying

[Jennifer Boggess Ramon]

At 2:32 AM +0000 7/26/02, jenny_ravenclaw wrote:
>
>I have to disagree with you here.  I also am a teacher; I believe we
>actually teach the same kinds of kids.  Most of my students must learn
>to defend themselves or accept being subjected to endless bouts of
>being bullied.  Not long ago, my boyfriend's younger brother was
>having a problem being bullied at his school.  My boyfriend encouraged
>his brother to fight it out.  I am not saying I agree with this, but
>my boyfriend's brother not only beat up the other kid, but they then
>became good friends.

How odd.  Why would one *want* to be friends with a bully?  Did they 
gang up on other kids together?  :(

>Bullies get away with bullying kids who they see as weaker.  I have
>yet to see a bully go after someone bigger OR after someone who has
>smacked them back, hard.  I have other stories to share about students
>of mine who defended themselves, but they're all the same: in the end,
>the bully backed off.

Perhaps there's a difference between New York and Texas going on 
here, but in almost every case I know of personally, fighting back 
merely caused the bully to escalate their tactics - bringing more 
people next time, going from fists to knives, changing from physical 
to social bullying, and so on.  It will also earn the victim an 
automatic three-day suspension in the Texas school system, which is 
likely to cause problems in its own right.

Solutions I have seen work include peer mediation (early in the 
process), making friends with people who are larger/stronger than the 
bully, moving in groups when the bully is around, and (in the case of 
bullies who have escalated to knives) pressing charges.  I've seen 
fighting back work perhaps one time in three, which I don't consider 
good odds, considering that if it doesn't work things tend to get 
much worse.

-- 
  - Boggles, aka J. C. B. Ramon			boggles at earthlink.net
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