[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Bullying

[heidit at netbox.com]

Jennifer Boggess wrote:
**I could
never have become friends with any of the bullies who bothered me, my
brother, or the other "easy targets" - I could never have respected
them.**

What about now? If someone who'd bullied you 20 years ago apologized now, could you allow yourself to become friends?

When I went to camp the summer I was eleven,my cabinmates tried to drown me, tied yarn all around my bed so I couldn't get out, set my alarm clock after I went to sleep so it would go off at 2am and everyone would hate me, put nair in my conditioner, ruined some - but not all - of my books, and made me miserable. I changed bunks after 5 weeks and the last 3 weeks were fine - b ut it was a miserable thing while it lasted. And I've blocked out a lot of the memroies, I know.

Imagine my surprise on the first day of my son's preschool last fall, when one of his classmates' mums introduced hetself as Karen, one of my bunkmates from that terrible summer. Midyear, she took me out and apologized profusely, gave me some explanations of the "why" - things I never knew - and we cried together. And we're friends now - motivated by our kids being friends- but how can I remain angry at a 32 year old psychologist for what she did at 12?

Heidi Tandy
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