Gifted Children - Tabouli thread - admittedly my issues

[cindysphynx]

Tabouli wrote:

> > My thoughts (for what they're worth without extensive research 
into
> > the area!) are that gifted children should be encouraged to 
> > *diversify*.  Given the opportunity to find roles other than 
> > "intellectually gifted" to play, preferably outside school, so 
that
> > their self-esteem can be spread a little more widely.  Acting.  
> > Dancing.  Drawing.  Sport.  Whatever.  Something that they and 
> > other people can define them by which isn't related to their high
> > IQ.  

Catlady wrote:

 
> IE forced by parents to do things that one is no good at (and 
>often not interested in), so that one can fail over and over, and 
>be terribly frustrated, and be mocked and taunted, and then go home 
>to parents ranting about you not trying hard enough. 

Yes, but . . . 

Yes, but . . . 

Doesn't it build character to some extent for a child to learn that 
they won't excel at everything?  What a sad thing it is for a child 
or adult to be afraid of trying new things because they fear that 
they will not be the best!  In almost every recreational activity, 
there are non-competitive or less competitive ways to participate, 
after all.  

On balance, I'd say it is preferable to encourage/cajole/force kids 
to try new things than it is to let them settle in to one thing too 
early.  They needn't be ridiculed if they aren't that great at the 
new things that are outside their comfort zone.  But they should 
learn what it feels like to be outside their comfort zone, and they 
should be helped to cope with those feelings.  'Cause they are going 
to have to cope with those feelings some day.

Catlady:

> Don't all parents, not just those of gifted children, demand that 
> their children accomplish Great Things that the parents can brag 
> about, due (I believe) to the parents not having any 
>accomplishments of their own to brag about. Okay, 'any' is an 
>exageration, but 'not enough' didn't work in that sentence.

Do "all parents" demand that their children accomplish Great Things 
that the parents can brag about?

Well, I don't know everything, but I know that the answer to that 
question is "No."  "All" parents do not do this.  Bent parents do 
this.  

Some of us genuinely want our kids to find their way in the world 
and grow up happy and well-adjusted.  We are pleased when they do 
well in something, true.  But it isn't always about bragging 
rights.  It is the hope that the child's success in Whatever-It-Is 
that they are doing well will lead them to be happy and well-
adjusted as opposed to confused and riddled with self-doubt.  
There's also the fact that a child's success in something often (but 
not always) causes the child to be happy, if even for a short time.  
And seeing your child happy is a bit of a rush, I must admit.

Besides, bragging about the accomplishments of the fruit of one's 
loins is kinda tacky.  ;-)

Cindy