Gifted Children: An unsubstantiated psychological assessment

[naamagatus]

Amy replied to Tabouli:
<snip>
>I'm not a fan of telling children their IQs, or indeed 
even testing for them, but I don't believe that doing so 
automatically equals teaching them that intellectual superiority is 
their defining feature, any more than telling them that they have 
tremendous talent at the piano teaches them that their defining 
feature is musical talent, or telling them they're the best Seeker in 
years teaches them that their defining feature is Quidditch talent.

Plenty of parents manage to convey to their children that they are 
brilliant in some way or another, without also conveying that this 
>brilliance is "everything."

Naama:

I hope so. But I think you need to be a very careful, self-aware kind 
of parent to do that. I agree with Tabouli (?) who remarked that 
individualism carries with it an enormous emphasis on external 
achievements. 
I definitely think that Ego problems can arise out of giftedness in 
any area, including physical appearance. I'm sure that a very good 
looking girl, whose self-esteem is centered on her physical beauty, 
would feel just as panicky and insecure when she faces competition 
with other beautiful women when envisioning a career in modeling. 

Amy:

>I agree with your recommendation, therefore--with apologies to 
Thoreau, "Diversify, diversify." And while we're telling kids their 
*many* talents, we might also affirm that their worth comes from 
other attributes such as being loving, patient, honest, kind, etc., 
or even (gasp) that it is inherent in being human, and not 
>contingent at all.


Me: 

Hear, Hear! I'm reminded of that extremely old-fashioned word –
"vanity." Fighting vanity, once such an important paedagogical 
principle (remember Marilla in Anne of Green Gables?), seems to have 
gone completely out of fashion, hasn't it? Now it's all about making 
your child feel good about herself, giving her a lot of positive 
reinforcement, etc. 
The question is, is it possible to give a child the sense that s/he 
is worthwhile and important in herself, regardless of her 
achievements? Could a child reach adulthood or even puberty without 
evaluating herself externally (how clever am I, how athletic am I, 
how nice am I, how pretty am I
)? It seems to me that the most 
wonderful, loving, unjudgmental parent in the world couldn't 
completely counteract the effects of the surrounding society. 
Is it even desirable? If a person is to live and earn a living in our 
society (i.e., Western society), maybe s/he should have 
competitiveness instilled into her in childhood? I'm sure that many 
parents push their children out of real anxiety as to their future 
prospects. Doing well in school isn't only something for parents to 
brag about. It can actually mean a huge difference in the child's 
future standard of living. 
Which, in a roundabout way, brings me to the opposite type of 
underachievers – the untalented. Those who are pushed to achieve 
beyond their abilities. Those who don't do well at school because 
 
well, because they are simply not intelligent enough. You think they 
don't feel humiliated, inadequate, even defective? 
My point being (I think <g>) that it's basically a cultural matter. 
The gifted "syndrome" that Tabouli describes is a symptom in one 
group of people of a general cultural condition. And, as long as we 
live under the current set of values, I really don't think there can 
be any real "cure." 


Naama
In a fighting, "Vive la Revolution" kind of mood