Lupin

[lupinesque]

Rita wrote:

> I fancy Remus 
> because he is kind and competent and responsible, and I want *him* 
to 
> take care of *me* ... when us readers listened in on him teaching 
> the third-year Gryffindors, being gentle and helpful with Neville 
and 
> supportive of Harry, I imagined someone treating *me* with so much 
> kindness, and immediately was fallen...

Yup, that's me too.  I do like that he needs some looking-after 
himself, but this would be distinctly *un*appealing were it not for 
the fact that he is obviously a very strong, kind person who has done 
a very good job of looking after himself all these years.  He could 
use the love of a good woman (guess who wants to volunteer?) but he 
ain't the walking wounded.

I wonder why when women have a caretaking/protective attitude toward 
their partners it's called a maternal instinct, but when men have a 
similar attitude it's not called a paternal instinct?  Men do have the 
desire to take care of people also.  It seems reasonable to me that 
most romantic partnerships have this element to some degree, and that 
within reasonable bounds (i.e. not condescending or infantilizing) it 
is a very nice thing.  We all need looking-after from time to time.

Amy
who likes for someone to fetch her medicine, take her temperature, and 
say "poor honey" when she's sick