Underachievers Anonymous

[naamagatus]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Mary Jennings" <macloudt at h...> wrote:
> 
> To this I want to add those people who drop friends who are new 
parents because all that baby talk is *so* boring.  When I was once 
told this, I reminded this girl that hearing about her brain-dead job 
and her sexual exploits tended to put me in a trance as well.  That 
shut her up quickly.  I also never heard from her again...can't think 
why...
> 

As a single girl with a brain-dead job (no sexual exploits worth 
detailing, though <sigh>) I had to jump in here.
I've never dropped friends because they became paretns, but... When 
people become so obsessed there's just no talking with them about 
ANYTHING else, it can get pretty depressing. It can also become quite 
hurtful. 
I have several friends with kids, and I often (really!) talk with 
them about their kids. It's interesting, I can relate to it from my 
experience (as a child, that is) and I understand how important it is 
to them. However, I have one friend - intelligent, funny, warm - who 
is OBSESSED!!! It's not a matter of talking a lot about her children 
- I understand and accept that. It's that she can't *not* focus all 
the time on her kids. It's so frustrating. She's one of my oldest 
friends and I feel like I haven't really been able to talk to her for 
the past six years (since her eldest son was born). 
The following scenario keeps happening: We sit and talk at their 
place or mine. The kids are playing peacefully on the carpet. I'm in 
the middle of a sentence. And she's off - "Oh, did you see that 
smile?" or "Oh, did you see what she did?! Isn't she clever?" or .. 
etc. Which make it quite obvious to me that she hadn't been listening 
to a word I've said. 
Now, like I said, she's an exception. However, if people tend to 
obsess, it's their kids they'll most often obsess about. So, yes, 
sometimes parents can be tedious to be around with. 

Naama, who is planning on being a sensible and calm parent (<g> yeah, 
right!)